


Fireproof

by Saxony55



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Slash, Slow Build, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2018-03-08 22:55:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 23,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3226571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saxony55/pseuds/Saxony55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis have separated</p>
<p>The band has separated</p>
<p>One phone call changes everything</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

It was 5 am when his phone ringing woke him up, Harry rolled over clutching his pillow and declined the call without even looking at the screen. It was a few minutes later when it started buzzing again and he grumbled out as he reached out for the phone gripping it in his large hand and looked to see who had the audacity to call him this early. Liam’s name stared at him from the caller id and Harry wondered what in the hell he could be calling for. He hadn’t spoken to any of the boys in months and hadn’t seen any of them in over a year. He knew in the pit of his stomach that something was wrong as he pushed the answer button.

“Hello”, his voice was gravelly this early in the morning.

“Hey Harry, it’s um Liam”, he sounded different to Harry’s ears.

“I know, I have your number, what in the bloody hell are you calling me this early for?”

Liam paused as if he didn’t want to say the next words, “It’s Louis, he’s in the hospital, and it’s pretty bad”

Harry shot up out of the bed suddenly wide awake, “Where is he?”

“He’s at Royal London Hospital in Whitechapel. I’m heading there myself now. We thought you should know”

“I’ll be getting the next flight out of LA that I can and meet you there”, Harry took a deep breath unsure he wanted the answer for the next question, “Is he going to be okay?”

Liam huffed out a deep breath, “They don’t know. Johannah doesn’t know much; she said the doctors won’t tell her much. I think Louis is in surgery”

“What happened?”

“There was a fire at his place, from what I gathered he had to jump out of his bedroom window on the third floor. That’s all I really know.”

Harry was already throwing on his jeans and had pulled out his laptop trying to make flight reservations to London, “Okay I’ll let you know when I land”, they both hung up and it was as if no time had gone by, no harsh words remembered between them. Louis was hurt and Harry was going to him whether his management liked it or not. He started randomly throwing things into his suitcase and dialed his assistant Marissa, “Hey everything we have for the next couple weeks, cancel it”

Marissa wasn’t sure if she was actually awake or just dreaming, “What are you talking about? Your schedule is completely full, you have concerts, appearances, that Rolling Stone interview. I can’t cancel everything”

“Yes you can, I’m heading to London”, Harry paused unsure he wanted to say, but then knew he couldn’t hide this, “Louis is in the hospital, it’s bad, I’m going. Just cancel everything I’ll deal with the fallout when I can”

Her tone changed, “Do you need me to book your flight?”

“No I’m doing that as we speak, just deal with everything else that you can and I’ll make the calls I need to when I get to London, Thanks Marissa”, they hung up and he zipped his bag full of what he wasn’t exactly sure as he headed downstairs to get a taxi.

He made a few more calls in the cab and before he knew it they were pulling up to LAX, he dealt as quickly as possible with the paparazzi, got inside, checked in for his flight, and headed to his terminal. Harry knew he would have 10 or so hours before he arrived at Heathrow and his heart was pounding, his stomach completely tied up in knots over the not knowing what was going on with Louis.

They’d met years ago, been in the biggest boy band of all time, Louis had been his best friend, but he’d also been more than that. Louis was the love of Harry’s life. They broke up a couple years ago; the band fell apart after that and Harry had gone on to his solo career. He was a huge star in his own right, on his own merit now. People said he was the next Justin Timberlake, but Harry was never one to like labels. He hated being called famous, but he loved his job, he loved the fans, and he loved standing on stage to a sold out arena singing his songs back to him. The problem had been that he loved Louis too, but Louis wouldn’t come out. Harry had given the ultimatum and Louis refused to tell the world he was gay. Harry had walked away and he still wondered what would be if he’d just swallowed his pride that day and stayed with Louis.

One Direction couldn’t hold it together after the break up, they all went their separate ways, but Harry’s star had been the one to climb the highest. He was the one still making music, still touring the world, and he wondered if the others resented him for it. He thought about a lot of things on the plane ride. Harry remembered all the good old days traveling around the world with what at one time he considered his brothers, but recently had become more like strangers. He thought about his new life and how different the stage felt up there alone on it now, but most of all he thought of Louis.

Louis had been his everything. They had practically fallen in love at first sight. The two of them had been inseparable back then and their management had tried their best to tear them apart. It had only made them stronger. Harry had never felt for anyone the way he’d felt for Louis and part of him knew that he probably never would. He still loved him even though he wasn’t with him. The breakup had been bad, things were said that they couldn’t take back, and they hadn’t spoken in 15 months. Harry remembered that last conversation like it was yesterday. They’d screamed, they cried. Harry called him a coward and Louis had called him a cunt. He was always colorful with his choice of words. Harry wiped away a tear as the plane finally landed in London and he was desperate to get to the hospital to find out if his Louis was going to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry arrives in London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is enjoying this one!!

The city embraced him as Harry stepped out of the airport. This was home, as much as he had traveled the world and had homes in other cities; his heart would always belong in the UK. He hadn’t realized how homesick he was until the fragrance of the city hit him full in the face. A lump formed in his throat, but he didn’t have time to savor the moment. He had to get to Louis, he slid into the car that was awaiting him on the curb, and told the driver where to go. Harry wanted to go straight to the hospital; he’d send his suitcase to the hotel with his driver. 

There was already an outpouring of media outside of the medical center when he pulled up. Fans with flowers and signs awaited for news on one of their boys. Harry stepped out and the crowd swarmed him, reporters wanting a story, and the fans wanting a piece of him. He shook them all off, he was on a mission and nothing was going to deter him from getting to Louis. Then Liam was there with guards opening a path and he ran straight into his arms. It all fell away in that instant, and they were brothers again as if no time and no arguments had been between them. 

The automatic doors slid open and they stepped into the rushing flow of the hospital. People rushing from one place to another, loved ones waiting to hear news, and Harry followed Liam down the twists and turns of too many corridors to a private waiting area. There stood Zayn and Niall along with most of Louis’s family. Johannah rushed across the space and took Harry into her arms. That was the moment that Harry finally broke down. The tears came too quickly and he felt guilty for making it about him when they were all here for Louis, “How is he?” It was the first words he’d said since he arrived and he wiped his tears away with his shirt sleeve. 

Johannah’s tears started then unable to contain them and Liam stepped in, “Not good, he’s got multiple broken bones all over his body; there was internal bleeding which they’ve stopped with surgeries, but he still hasn’t woken up.”

Understanding hit Harry like a brick wall, “So he’s in a coma? Do they now when he will wake up?”

Liam shook his head, “He may not. The doctors have a guarded prognosis. It was a long way down when he jumped”

“Why in the hell would he jump? Couldn’t he wait for help?”

“No”, Niall shook his head, “The place was engulfed in flames. There wasn’t time; he would have burned in there.” They hugged then, Zayn and Liam throwing themselves into it. It felt like a million other group hugs they had shared except a part of them was missing and he was lying in a hospital bed a few feet away.

Harry looked through the window next to where they were all congregating. He could see Louis lying in there motionless with the covers pulled up around his chest. He could have just been asleep, but he wasn’t, “Can I see him?” Johannah nodded and he stepped into the dimly lit room alone. He wanted to hold his hand, but they were wrapped in gauze, most of his body was covered some type of bandaging. His face was bruised, his hair a wreck, but Harry couldn’t help but think that even here like this he was beautiful. “Louis”, he hoped for a reaction or something. Nothing happened. 

He knelt down by his bedside then, unable to touch him, he just rested his head on the edge of the bed and prayed. He prayed to anyone who would listen, because he couldn’t lose him. Louis had to wake up; he had to come out of this. The world couldn’t go on without his light. The tears shed down his face and he stood, leaned over kissing his forehead, and took the seat next to the bed. “I’m not going anywhere baby. I’m right here”

Everyone stayed away for a while and he just sat there in silence watching Louis lay there. The silence of the room was deafening and then Johannah walked in and took the chair on the other side of the bed. She rested her hand on the bedside “He’s going to be okay. I know it”, and then she tried to force a smile. 

“He has to be”, his voice cracked. “Is it okay if I stay here?”

“As long as you need to, plus it’ll help me knowing someone’s here for him. I can’t stay overnight with all the kids needing me home. You just have to promise to call if you hear anything. I’ll give the doctor your name as a point of contact so he can keep you updated.”

“Thanks”, Harry said, “I wasn’t sure how welcomed I’d be. I haven’t been around and well, we’re not together anymore”

“Harry, you will always be family, and as for you two, well I guess I figured someday you would find your way back.” She just sat there and people were in and out of the room. Zayn brought a chair and sat next to Harry for a while. They chatted and caught up. Zayn showed him all his new art from pictures on his phone. His pieces were going to be in an exhibit next month. It felt like old times, except Louis laying there silent between them all. Louis was never one to be quiet, his antics kept them all laughing, and Louis’s laugh could light up any dark room. Harry yearned to hear his voice just one more time. 

The waiting was torture. He smiled and tried to force the small talk with everyone, but his thoughts and his eyes were constantly on Louis. Harry wished he could trade places with his blue eyed boy. He couldn’t stand the pain of sitting here and watching him fade away. He looked smaller than he remembered and when his phone rang he took the distraction to get away for just a moment and catch his breath.

“Hello”

“Hey”, it was Marissa and he kicked himself as he realized he hadn’t let her know that he’d arrived.

“I forgot to call, sorry”

“That’s fine, Harry, you have enough on your mind, but I talked to management. They are royally pissed and want you back in LA as fast as possible. They said you have obligations and if you are not back in two days that you are in breach of contract. Sorry, don’t kill the messenger”

Harry ran his hand through his curly hair, “They are going to be sorely disappointed when I don’t show up. I’ll deal with this. You don’t have to be the one to deal with this”

“I don’t mind. It’s what you pay me for right?”

“I can’t come back, I can’t leave him like this”, Harry wanted to punch the wall in front of him.

“I know, I saw on the news, it doesn’t sound good. I’ll deal with management. I just wanted to let you know what they were saying. They could sue you though. This could mean your recording contract. This is your job”, Marissa needed to make sure he understood all the ramifications before she hung up.

“I know, but he’s my life” and hung up the phone walking back into Louis’s room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another obstacle between Louis and Harry, you know since a coma isn't a big enough problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all are enjoying this!!!

A couple days passed and nothing had changed. Louis still hadn't woke up and Harry was staying at his bed side as much as possible. The mornings were busy with nurses in and out and family coming to visit, so Harry took that time to go to the hotel, wash up, change clothes, and then get back to the hospital around lunch. His management were still arguing with him, but he’d let them know in no uncertain terms that he would not budge on this matter. He was here in London, he told them Louis was his best friend and everyone was just going to have to get over it. 

The rumors had swirled for years about a possible romance between them; they’d always circumvented the media with their relationship, but now with Harry staying close the rumors were starting all over again. He stood in his hotel room shower letting the water run down his aching back. It was killing him from sleeping on the cot in the hospital. Harry wished he could tell his new management about who Louis really was to him. He wondered if it would make them more forgiving of all the obligations he was having to shrug off right now.

It was just before lunchtime when he arrived back at the hospital making his way through the news crews that were still camped out front. It seemed like any other day at the hospital with people bustling and ambulances coming and going. Every day though as he made his way through the corridors to Louis’s room he hoped that today would be the day that he’d be awake. Today as he reached the room and turned the corner he hoped to find Louis’s eyes staring back at him, but instead he found a man he’d never seen sitting at Louis’s bedside caressing his cheek. “Excuse me, who let you in here?” Harry’s voice was demanding.

The man who was tall, tanned, and very handsome turned startled wiping a tear from his eye, “Sorry, I let myself in. I’m Pedro and you are Harry. It is nice to meet you”, the man offered his hand to shake.

Harry did not take his hand, he had a bad feeling about him, and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “And exactly what are you doing here, Pedro?”

“Um”, Pedro hesitated unsure and then whispered, “Louis is my boyfriend”

Harry almost choked on the words, “You’re what?”

“Boyfriend”

“No, I heard you, I just wasn’t aware of any boyfriend”, Harry wanted to back out of the room and restart this day without Pedro.

“We haven’t told anyone. Johannah knows me, but as his friend. Louis is very hush hush about such things, well you know”, Pedro sat back down in the seat next to Louis and Harry had to resist the urge to kick the chair out from underneath him.

“Yes, I do know”, Harry moved to the other side of the bed running his hand gently through Louis’s hair sweeping it back from his face as if laying some type of claim to him in front of the new boyfriend before sitting down in the opposing chair. “How is he today?”

Pedro shifted his weight in the chair, “The nurse said the same, no change overnight.”

“And where exactly have you been for the last few days?” Harry couldn’t help but wonder what took this so called boyfriend three days to show up.

“Brazil, this was as fast as I could get away. I’m on the Brazilian football team. Louis was a fan, we were introduced. It just happened, you know”

“Do you love him? Does he love you?” Harry was being too blunt about it, but he didn’t care, he had to know what was going on.

“I care about him, it’s new. We haven’t exactly made it to the I love you’s yet.” Pedro paused for a moment playing with the hemline of his shorts, “I think he’s still hung up on you, actually”

Harry smiled at that, “Yea, the feelings mutual”

Pedro stood, “Look I didn’t come here to stake any claim to him, or fight with you. I just came to see if he was going to be okay. I can come back later when you’re not here if that would be better”

“Sorry”, Harry said to him, “I didn’t mean to make you feel unwelcome, it’s just I didn’t know you even existed. I guess I am a little territorial about him”, Harry glanced at Louis. “It’s just that I love him and as for later, well I’ll be here then too. I’ve been staying here with him. You are of course welcome to be here”. Pedro just nodded his head and sat back down in the chair across from Harry. They sat that way for a while, both just sitting quietly in the hospital room with Louis lying between them looking so peaceful. 

It was hours later when Liam showed up finding Harry napping uncomfortably in his chair, “Hey wake up. I’m taking you to dinner”

“Not hungry”, was all Harry said as he opened his eyes.

“Too bad”, Liam pulled him up from the seat, “You need to get out. Louis will be pissed when he wakes up if I don’t take care of your ass”

Harry looked around the otherwise empty room, “Where’s Pedro?”

“Who?” Liam looked around the room.

“Louis’s boyfriend. He was here earlier”, Harry mumbled unhappily.

“His what?” Liam looked shocked.

“Yea that’s what I said. He got here earlier this morning, all Brazilian, and tan, he fucking plays football, and did I mention he’s gorgeous. I hate him”.

The toilet flushed and the bathroom door opened. Pedro walked out toweling off his hands and grinning, “Gorgeous, huh? I’ll take it”

Harry was red in the face from anger and embarrassment as he grabbed Liam’s arm, “Come on, you’re taking me to dinner.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night with the guys and then some good news

Harry slammed the passenger door of Liam’s car, “Hey, don’t take it out on the car, man”, Liam scolded as he got into the driver’s seat.

“You’re right, I should go up there and take it out on Pedro?” Harry sarcastically said Pedro’s name.

Liam pulled out of the parking garage, “No, you definitely should not do that. The tabloids would have a field day explaining why two of Louis’s friends are fighting in his hospital room.”

“I just can’t believe he has a boyfriend”, Harry sulked in his seat resting his head on the cool glass of the window.

“I had no idea, I would have warned you if I had, but don’t you see guys out in LA?” 

Harry ran his hands through his long curly locks, “I’ve been with a few, but not as boyfriends. I just picked up a couple guys here and there. I’ve never wanted to be serious with anyone except Louis.”

“Well if it’s any consolation Louis asked about you all the time. He’d asked if I’d heard from you or if the other guys had. He wasn’t over you.”

“Pedro pretty much said as much”, Harry bit at his lower lip. “Where are we going to eat anyway?”

“My place”, Liam grinned, “The guys are there waiting on us. Zayn is cooking something”

Harry just smiled over at him, “That sounds nice. I didn’t really want to deal with being in public right now.”

Liam reached over patting Harry on the knee, “He’s going to be okay”.

“I can’t deal with any of this if he’s not”, Harry looked out the window the oncoming cars lights glaring at him, “I still love him, you know”

“I know, and boyfriend of not he loves you too, Harry”, Liam pulled off the street and up his long driveway.

The guys were waiting inside, Zayn gave him a big hug and Niall brought him a beer. “Thanks, I need this”, Harry opened it and took a long swig.

“I made spaghetti”, Zayn stated as he headed back into the kitchen.

Harry followed him, “Your mom’s recipe?”

“Of course”, Zayn answered him.

It was nice being around the guys again. It was like old times and Harry realized just how much he missed being part of a group. The problem was all through dinner and after as they sat around drinking he just kept thinking about Louis and how he wasn’t here with them. He should have been there; he should be butting in with rude comments. Harry looked at the empty spot next to him on the couch and thought about how Louis should be sitting right there holding his hand or leaning his head on his shoulder. As much as he enjoyed being with his friends it just made him miss Louis more. “I should be getting back to the hospital soon.”

Liam spoke up, “You could just stay here tonight.”

“No”, Harry answered, “I want to be there if he wakes up”

“When he wakes up”, Niall corrected. “We have to be positive, if makes it sound like he’s not coming back.”

Harry smiled, “You’re right, I want to be there when he wakes up.” Liam stood as if going to get his keys, “No, you’ve had a couple, I’ll just call a cab”

They all said their goodbyes after Harry called his taxi, there was a few more minutes of small talk, and then Harry was on his way back to the hospital. He hoped Pedro was gone, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to still be there. Harry was sure he was a nice guy, but that didn’t stop him from hating him. Despite all the time that had passed and all they had been through, Harry knew that Louis belonged with him and not some Brazilian footballer. 

His phone rang just as he was getting out of the cab, he glanced at the screen recognizing the number, “Harry”, Johannah’s voice rang in his ear, “I’m here at the hospital, where are you?”

“I just got back from dinner at Liam’s. I’m literally walking in the front door right now”

“He’s awake”

The words he’d waited to hear for days were finally being said, “I’m on my way”, and he hung up the phone, and ran through the familiar corridors. Louis was awake and Harry couldn’t wipe the shit eating grin off of his face. He couldn’t get there fast enough, but he had no idea what was waiting for him in that room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of Louis waking up

The room was too bright as Louis opened his eyes, he felt so tired, so weak, and unable to move. Everything felt heavy and thick as he tried to adjust to the lights around him. He tried to swallow feeling something in his throat. Panic was slowly starting to hit him as the strange man hovered over him. The man was talking, but Louis wasn’t focused enough to hear what was going on. It was all just light and noise and everything seemed foreign to him. 

Then more people were in the room, he noticed the monitors and tubes. People in white lab coats surrounding him, his heart racing, it was all so much, and then the pain. His whole body was aching, he tried gritting his teeth, he tried to speak, but unable to do either, just filled him with more confusion. A woman in scrubs was there then, brushing the hair from his face, and calming words, “Hi, I need you to relax, I’m going to pull the tube from your throat, okay?” He nodded and tried to ease his emotions, and then the thickness was gone from his trachea. He tried to speak again, but his esophagus felt raw, and his words just came out as a scratchy whisper. “Water”, the nurse questioned seeming to understand, so Louis nodded again.

The room was more in focus and he looked down the length of his body, there was a sheet covering him, but he looked bulky and could feel the bandages, and the casts. The doctors were still busy swarming around him like he was the queen bee and they were his drones. He looked then towards a window in his room looking out into another room. There were more people there, smiling, waving, someone trying to get in his room, a young man that looked as panicked as he currently felt. 

His heart was still pounding, his whole body on fire, and he wanted to speak. He wanted to ask questions, but he was unable. He noticed a doctor with a needle inserting something into the clear lines that were going into his arm. He felt warm, his chest almost burning, the pain was easing, his eyes heavy, and then he was falling back into blackness.

Harry was trying his damnedest to get to Louis, but they wouldn’t let him in the room, “Sir, you have to stay out here while the doctors work on him. They have tests to run and you will only be in the way”. It was Johannah that finally calmed Harry down and got him to go and sit down with her in a waiting area. “I just feel like he needs to know I’m here”

“I know, and he knows. Louis knows we’re here, but we need to let the doctors do what they need to do”

Harry shrunk down in his seat just staring at his shoes, “I know”, he looked over at her then, “How are you so calm and collected”

Johannah smiled, “I’m not, believe me I want in that room with my baby so bad, but I know right now he needs those doctors more than he needs me. The good thing is that he’s awake now”.

Harry nodded and they both sat there just waiting in silence wondering what was going on in that room. Pedro was pacing nearby. “Pedro, you should come sit with us”, Harry proclaimed across the hallway.

Pedro walked over, “I’m not sure I can sit right now. Something was wrong with him?”

“What do you mean?” Johannah sounded worried.

“I don’t know, it was the way he looked at me. He just didn’t look at me like he usually does. It was like he was different somehow. I can’t explain it.” He continued to pace up and down the hall in front of them.

“He just woke up from a coma, I’m sure it’s normal for him to be out of it, besides all the meds they’ve been giving him.”

“I’m sure you’re right”, Pedro answered Harry.

It was a little bit later when a doctor walked over to them, “We had to give him a sedative, his vitals were just too high. His blood pressure was much higher than we would like and we need him calm and rested. We know that he woke up and that’s very good news, but we still have a long way to go. His body is still healing, and we won’t know about any long term effects from the coma or the surgery until we can talk to him. He should wake up again in a few hours and we’ll see if he’s calmer at that time. Also when we talk to him, we don’t want to overwhelm him with information. Let him remember the fire on his own. We don’t want him to panic again, is that understood”

Everyone nodded and then Harry asked, “Can we go sit with him”

The doctor looked at the three of them sitting there and then back to the group of people waiting near his room. Louis had a lot of family and friends, “Two at a time and no more, again, the last thing we need to do is overwhelm him.” He walked away and Harry watched him go down the hall.

Pedro spoke first, “You two should go in”

“You’re his boyfriend, not me”, Harry stated matter of factly.

“But you’re the one he’d want to see when he wakes up. I care for him enough to know that”, Pedro started walking down the hall, “Besides I’m getting hungry. I’m going to hit the cafeteria”

Harry smiled wondering if the roles had been reversed if he could have done what Pedro just did, and he knew that he couldn’t. He loved Louis too much to let another man be there for him. He followed Johannah into his room and texted the guys letting them know what was going on and that it was probably too early for them to visit, and he would let them know when he had more news.

The hours literally felt like days as they sat in the uncomfortable hospital chairs just watching Louis and waiting for him to open his beautiful blue eyes again. Harry put his earbuds on, thumbing through his songs before settling on Scars by James Bay. The lyrics hitting him in the soul in a way they never had before, he mouthed the words along with the song, tears streaming down his cheeks, “We live through scars this time but I've made up my mind we can't leave us behind anymore we'll have to hurt for now but next time, there's no doubt cuz I can't go without you anymore”.

He pulled the earphones from his ears, standing up, wiping away the tears with his shirtsleeve, and walked over to the window. He looked outside first at the dark sky, the stars hidden by the bright lights of the city, and then he looked down at the parking lot, at the fans standing outside with candles, and signs, and pictures of Louis. He smiled at them feeling their love emanating up at him. They couldn’t see him, but he waved and blew them a kiss anyway. Harry turned then placing his hands on Johannah’s shoulders, massaging them for her. 

Louis stirred a bit in his bed, his eyes slowly fluttered open easier now that the room was darker. Harry rushed over to the other side of the bed, “Hey, I’m so happy to see those blue eyes of yours”, Harry smiled.

Then his smile faded, as Louis looked over at him, “Where am I? Who are you?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis wakes up again, Harry has to deal with things

Louis’s words might has well have been a knife through Harry’s heart. Harry moved away from Louis in shock just as Johannah was moving forward reaching out to touch Louis, but Louis jerked away from her. Harry knew something was wrong, something was very very wrong as he turned and ran toward the nurse’s station. He was frantic by the time he made it there and found Louis’s nurse, “He’s awake, but he”, Harry paused trying to get his emotions in check. He knew he was on the verge of crying, but he knew this wasn’t the time or place to let go. There were too many eyes on him, too many people who could exploit any bit of attachment he showed. “He, um, doesn’t seem to know his mother or me.”

She followed him back to the room, but by this point the scene had completely changed. Johannah was in the corner crying, Louis was trying to get out of the bed, he was screaming at Johannah, “You’re not my mother”, and flailing as best he could. Security ran past them and began to tie him down to the bed restraining him while his nurse took another syringe from her pocket and plunged it into his iv. Harry stood there torn between wanting to help Louis, but instead he ran over to Johannah taking her in his arms and holding her. She buried her head into his chest not wanting to see what was happening to her son. Harry was unable to hold back the tears any longer, he swallowed the lump in his throat, and let them fall.

It was a half hour later when his doctor appeared in the room, he checked Louis over, and then turned toward Harry and Johannah, “I thought I’d made it clear we didn’t want to aggravate Mr. Tomlinson.”

Harry stepped forward, “Look this”, pointing toward the bed, “Is the last thing we wanted. He didn’t know who in the hell we were and he freaked out. It wasn’t like we saw that coming.”

The doctor took a deep breath, “I know you both want to help, but for now what is going to be the most help is that I would like there to be no visitors until I can do a proper exam and speak with my patient.”

“You can’t just kick us out”, Harry was too emotionally involved.

“Actually I can kick you out, Mr Styles. Now Mrs Deakin, you are family and you have every right to be here, but I truly feel that what is best for him is for everyone to go until I can get a better handle on what is going on. After that I’ll start a small visitation with immediate family only, and”

Harry cut him off before he could say anything else, “No, you can’t do that. I’ll go for now if that’s what’s best, but once he can have visitors I’ll be back. You can consider me immediate family.”

“Unfortunately, Mr. Styles, you are not family. I get that you are a close friend. I get your affiliation with Mr Tomlinson from working together so closely for so many years, but right now his close family is all that I’ll consider visiting him.” The doctor was very direct with his words.

Harry gritted his teeth, trying to not start crying all over again. This was so unfair, he was more than just some friend, some coworker. Louis was the love of his life and he wasn’t about to let this doctor who didn’t know the whole truth stand in his way. It was then that he knew he had to tell him everything, “Look, can we uh talk about this for a moment”

“Nothing you say will change my mind and if you are going to try and grease my palms so to speak, I cannot be swayed with your money either”, the doctor crossed his arms over his chest.

“What? No, that’s not what I was going to do. Just because I’m famous or whatever doesn’t mean I’m an asshole. I just want to explain some things about Louis and I that you are not aware of, okay?” Harry wanted to tell this doctor what a huge prick he was being, but he needed this man if he was going to be able to stay close to Louis. “Look, Louis and I, well we’re more than just friends, or at least we were”

“How do you mean?” 

“I’m assuming that if he’s your patient than anything I say is considered you know client patient privilege right?”

The doctor took a seat as if finally ready to listen to Harry, “Of course. I can be discreet if need be.”

“Louis and I were in a relationship, we’re not now, he’s been seeing someone else, but we were together for almost 6 years”, Johannah took Harry’s arm as if giving him silent support. “I still love him and I know he still loves me, even if we’re not together. I know that I can’t speak for him, but if this were me, if I was the one lying in that bed and he was here fighting for the right to see me I would want him here. Louis is my family, he’s the love of my life”, the tears were flowing again and Harry brushed them back with his sleeve. 

The doctor stood up and placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder, “Thank you for being honest with me young man. I’d still like him to be alone when he wakes, and I’d like to bring in his mother and siblings after that, but I’ll let you be right outside the door and if he can remain calm after seeing his family I will let you in, okay? That is as much as I can promise right now because I have to look out first and foremost for my patient. His health is the most important thing right now. I know that you are worried for him and I will keep you in the loop as much as possible.” Harry nodded accepting what the doctor was telling him, “Now when I do let you all in to see him, if he still doesn’t know you we need to let him come by some things on his own. For instance now that I know he’s gay he needs to remember that on his own. I don’t want to tell him things before he may be ready to hear them.”

“Why can’t we tell him about his self, if he doesn’t remember things, then we will need to fill in the blanks for him”, Johannah was the one asking things now.

“We don’t even know if there is significant memory loss yet or if at all until I can speak with him about what he does know. However if there is amnesia telling him too much or expecting him to just be the person he was before could have altering affects. I’ve seen it happen before. If you push too much on a person and tell them who they are they will rebel against what you are saying. This is going to take time and patience. I need you both to understand that and relay it to the rest of his family and friends”.

Harry and Johannah agreed to listen to the doctor’s orders and they both left the room. Johannah took Harry’s hand as they walked down the hall, “Do you want to come home with us until we get the call?”

“No, I think I need to be alone for a while if that’s okay”, Harry squeezed her hand.

“Of course”, she kissed his cheek and then left with the rest of the family that was there.

Harry stood alone in the long white corridor unsure of what to do. He thought about calling the guys and going back over to Liam’s, but he didn’t really want to face them yet. The other problem was that he was Harry Styles recognizable to anyone and the place was surrounded by fans and paps. Louis’s nurse came up to him then, “Hey are you okay?”

“Yea, I just, I’m not really sure where I need to be right now. I can’t go to his room, but I’d like to be alone”

“Follow me”, she smiled at him understandingly. She led him up some stairs to a steel door and opened it up to the roof of the hospital. The sun was shining down behind the clouds, shadows spilling out over the rooftop, “Here, why don’t you hang out up here until you figure out what you want to do. Some of the staff comes up here to smoke occasionally, but over there”, she pointed to where the roof turned behind some loud machines, “you should be safe from other people bothering you”, and then she squeezed his shoulder and went back down the stairs.

Harry walked along the rooftop until he found a quiet secluded area. He sat down just looking out over the sky; it was the first time in days he’d been absolutely alone and able to just think. He thought about all the ways he had imagined Louis waking up to go and none of them had been with him asking who Harry was. He’d imagined him smiling and forgiving him for leaving and saying he loved him. He’d dreamed that they’d fight and Louis would kick him out. He’d gone over every possible scenario in his head except the current one and now he didn’t know what to do with himself. He needed him to be okay. He needed Louis to wake up and smile at him the way he always had and if that didn’t happen then Harry wasn’t sure how to live without his Louis. 

They’d been apart for a little over a year and now with everything that had happened Harry was so angry for wasting the last year. He always assumed they would have more time. Louis would finally be ready to come out and they would be together, but now that might never happen. Harry stood and screamed out over the roof, screamed in agony for everything he couldn’t fix. 

He texted Liam then and let him know he needed a ride and a place to sleep. He wasn’t sure when Louis would be ready for the family and him to visit. Right now Harry wasn’t sure of anything except that he loved Louis and he’d fight like hell to get back the boy that he needed and loved in his life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a memory and then a phone call

Harry had gone straight to bed once he got back to Liam’s house. He awoke just as the sun was going down still wearing his clothes. Harry reached over to the night stand for his phone checking for phone calls. He had quite a few but none that pertained to Louis so he closed his eyes again letting his mind drift back to another time. A time to when Louis was his and they were happy. So many memories flashed through his head, the day they met, their first kiss, nights spent together in each other’s arms, and then he remembered the night he first told Louis that he loved him. He smiled to his self as he sunk his head into his pillow letting the memory take him away.

…

They stood on the stage the spotlights circling around the room, his heart was pounding in his chest waiting to hear the results of the finale. He still couldn’t believe they were in the final 3, and here he was possibly going further with his band. He just stood there staring at the floor unable to even think straight and then he heard Matt’s name. His heart dropped, the tension in his gut rising, and he wasn’t sure he could stand this. Louis was there trying to reassure him with his hand on Harry’s stomach. It was like he knew the butterflies were swarming in his stomach. He literally felt like he was going to puke at any given moment. Liam was squeezing his shoulder and then Rebekah’s name called out and he felt like his world had ended all in that single moment. He was in a daze for the rest of it, congratulating Rebekah, hugging the boys and Simon, they stood together arm in arm watching their best moments video. All the while Harry wanting to drown in his sorrows, and mostly hold on to everything he’d found and couldn’t lose. He heard Zayn say that this wasn’t the last of One Direction and he smiled needing to believe that more than ever. They walked off stage, watched the rest of the finale, had a little party at the end of the night for everyone, and then finally he was back in his room in the house for one final night. 

He met up with Louis in their secret hiding place outside the way they always did. Louis had been there arms open wide and Harry had just stepped into them; the older boy always knowing exactly what Harry needed. They stood that way for a while just holding onto each other, “Harry this doesn’t change anything. We are still a band, we are still together, and we’re going to move in together just like we said.”

“I just”, he sniffed back a tear, “I really thought we were going to win. I wanted that contract. I want this. All of it, the band, you and me”

“Me too, but it’ll all work out, you’ll see. I promise you”, Louis took Harry’s face in his hands kissing him, letting the kiss grow deeper as Harry’s hands swept up under Louis’s white t-shirt needing to touch skin.

“I’m just scared this is going to go away, it can’t. Louis I can’t lose you. I love you”, Harry turned beat red when he realized what he said.

“You what? You love me”, Harry tried to back away out of embarrassment, “No, Harry, don’t go. You love me?” His voice so soft, so needy and desperate for an answer. Harry could just nod, his heart ramming in his chest for the second time tonight. “I love you too”, Louis was smiling from ear to ear as he said it back.

“You do? Really?” Harry couldn’t believe his ears and kissed Louis again. He hadn’t dared to dream that Louis would say it back.

…

Harry was pulled out of his thoughts back in Liam’s house, his phone buzzing next to him. It was Johannah. His heart pounded with nerves, as he picked up the phone not sure he was ready to hear what she was going to say. He answered and walked out into the living room. He knew that whatever was coming he would need the boys and together they were going to get through this. He heard Louis’s voice in his mind back at that night at the X Factor promising him that it would all work out and he hoped that it was true this time.

“Hey”, he said, “I’m here with all the guys. Do we know anything?” He put the phone on speaker so they could all hear.

“He’s awake again, the doctor examined him and talked with him. He doesn’t remember his life. He didn’t know his name, or his family, or anything that pertained to him, but he knows some things. He knows math and what things are called, and he can spell words, but he doesn’t know how they pertain to him or remember how he learned them.” She was rambling through her tears.

“Can I visit yet?”

“The doctor said in the morning, Louis is too tired after everything today. He wants us there at 8am to start working with him.”

Harry asked the question he wanted an answer to, but wasn’t sure he would like what he heard, “Is this permanent?”

Johannah took a deep breath trying to control her tears, “He doesn’t know. He said he could get his memory back anytime or he may never get it back. It’s all a big wait and see game right now. I wish I had better news.”

“Hey this is difficult for all of us and we’re going to get through this with Louis, okay? He’d tell us to be strong and quit being whiny ass babies, right?”

She laughed at the other end, “I’ll see you in the morning”. They said their good byes and Harry hung up the phone and looked around at his friends faces. Zayn was trying his damnedest not to cry, Niall was already gearing up to cheer us all up, and Liam who normally knew just what to do just looked lost. He had this faraway look on his face as if for the first time realizing he didn’t have the answers for this. Harry just sat there trying to take it all in as the reality of Louis not knowing who he was sunk in and crashed around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is enjoying this one. Sorry for so many feels.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry finally get to talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a bit since I have updated this one. I've been itching to get back to it, but life keeps getting in the way.

The rain poured down, the sky grey, a light fog surrounding the city and Harry was walking into the hospital illuminated by the glow of the paparazzi’s flash bulbs. It seemed even the rain couldn’t keep them away from the story of Louis’s memory loss. The story had leaked early this morning despite only a few people knowing about it. Harry just pulled the bag he carried closer to his side and made his way to the elevator. It was 9 o’clock when he made it to Louis’s room and he’d been late on purpose wanting to give the family the first hour before he showed up and besides he’d had some errands to run for Louis this morning. 

He could see him sitting in the bed before he entered the room. Johannah was there with Lottie and Fizzy, but he didn’t see either set of twins. Harry assumed they were trying not to overwhelm Louis with all of his siblings at once. He stood at the door for a moment just watching them. He could feel a definite tension in the air, but he couldn’t help but smile at seeing Louis awake and semi sitting up. 

Louis glanced over and saw him then, his head leaning a bit to the side before he said, “I remember you”.

Harry’s chest tightened, there was an audible gasp from one of the girls, and then Johannah asking, “Louis, you remember Harry?”

Louis looked up realizing what he’d said, “Oh, uh, no I mean not like that. I um remember him from the other night waking up. He was trying to get into my room and then the next time he comforted you. Sorry.” His voice seemed different to Harry, but he remembered there was smoke damage and he’d had the ventilator down his throat. Harry gritted his jaw at the memories of everything that had happened.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. I was here the other night. I’m Harry, your”, he paused not sure exactly what to call his self. He remembered the doctor warning not to say too much so he settled with, “friend, and we used to work together.”

Louis just looked at him strangely questioning his presence, “I thought it was family only?”

It was Johannah who spoke up on his behalf, “Harry is practically family. He’s your very best friend”, she squeezed Harry on the shoulder then giving him a nod. “Well we shouldn’t have too many people in here at once, so we’re going to go find the twins. I’ll be back to see you later”, she told Louis as she stepped out of the room visibly shaken from her visit.

They walked out of the room and then Harry and Louis were alone, just staring at each other. It was Louis who spoke first, “I’m sorry I don’t remember everyone. They kept staring at me the whole last hour like I was going to magically know who they were. Kind of the way you’re staring at me now”

Harry shook off the dazed look he was sure he had on his face and smiled, “Sorry, it’s just we all love you, you know, but I’m sure this is even weirder for you. A bunch of strangers in your room needing something from you that you are unable to give them.”

Louis smiled, “Exactly”, he let out a deep breath as if he’d been holding it in. “I mean the whole thing is crazy. I know what an apple is, but I have no idea if I’ve ever eaten one.”

“Well I’m Harry, but your mom already said that, geez this is fucking awkward”, they both laughed and it seemed to relieve even more tension from the room.

“So tell me about yourself, or about us, you know how did we meet? You said we worked together?”

“The doctors said I’m not supposed to tell you too much about your life, apparently it’s better if you can remember it on your own”, Harry told him.

“Well that’s great if I remember, but what if I don’t. I mean how long do I have to not know a single thing about myself before the doctors deem me okay enough to know? I just want something to feel familiar”, Louis was frustrated and Harry wanted to help.

“Well I brought you some things”, Harry took the bag off his shoulder and placed it on the tray in front of Louis. He pulled out some football magazines, and some puzzle books. Then he pulled out an iPad and a new iPhone for Louis. “I knew yours were ruined in the fire so I got these for you. The code is 1234 I figured that would be easy to remember.”

Louis looked taken aback by Harry’s kindness, “Thank you”.

“No problem, I set them both up with games and stuff you like. My phone number and your family’s numbers are all in the phone for you if you want to talk or need anything. I added some of your friend’s numbers too, for once you meet them. Also the Ipad has books I knew you enjoyed, figured you could reread them and fall in love all over again. I know there are books I wish I could read all over again for the very first time.”

Louis just smiled, “That’s a great way to look at this, a second chance to make a first impression, right? This is all very thoughtful”, he gestured toward all the things on the tray.

Lastly Harry pulled out some candies from the bag, “I know hospital food must suck, so got you some treats”

“I’m not allowed solid food yet, but I’ll save these for when I am”

“Sorry”, Harry felt like an idiot, “I wasn’t even thinking about that”

Louis just smiled, the same smile Harry had seen a million times, the smile that Harry loved more than anything, “It’s fine, now sit down or something you’re making me nervous”

Harry laughed as he took the chair on the other side of the bed near the window. “So what do you want to know?”

“Are you actually going to answer me?”

“Maybe, if I think it won’t change your recovery”, Harry answered and brought his right foot up to his left knee sinking down a bit into the chair.

“So how did we meet?”

Harry blushed remembering the moment, and not sure if he should answer that one, “I’ll just say it was in a bathroom and um I may or may not have accidentally peed on your shoe”

Louis laughed out loud and then clutched at his chest, “Fuck that hurts, don’t make me laugh, and you cannot say that and not give me more to the story”

Harry smiled, “Sorry that’s all you get”

“You’re evil”

“I’ve been called worse, hell I’ve been called worse by you”

Louis thought for a moment, “Okay, what’s the worst thing I ever called you?”

Harry thought of the words Louis had said when they broke up, but he didn’t want to mention those moments out loud so he went with a funnier one, “Um, a curly haired cunt comes to mind”

Louis laughed again, “I thought I said not to make me laugh”

“Sorry, you’re a funny guy so talking about you is going to bring laughter.”

“So I’m funny, what else am I like?” Louis questioned.

Perfect and beautiful were the first words that came to Harry’s mind, but he couldn’t very well say those out loud, “Um, loyal, boisterous, athletic, loud, you love your family, a bit of a potty mouth, when you want something you go for it, driven, and talented.”

“So I’m a good guy then?”

“Louis you’re a great guy. Everyone loves you”

“That’s good to know”

The room was silent then so many words between them not being said, Harry had to cut the silence, “Any more questions?”

“Tell me about yourself. I’m not really supposed to know too much about me anyway”

Harry just smiled, “What do you want to know?”

“Um, what’s your last name?”

“Styles”

Louis laughed again, clutching his chest, “You’re making that up right, Harry Styles, that sounds like a porn star or something?”

Now it was Harry that was laughing, “Nope that’s my real name”

“I guess you get a lot of girls with a name like that”, Louis joked.

Harry didn’t laugh and he wondered if he should tell him. He decided to just be honest, he didn’t want secrets between them, “Actually I’m gay, so not really trying to get the girls with my name”

Louis’s eyes brightened a bit, he smiled, and then breathed out a sigh of what looked like almost relief, “Are you my boyfriend, then? I mean that would make sense as to why you got to come with family, and I mean I find you incredibly hot”

The moment took Harry completely off guard, he hadn’t expected the question or how to answer it. He covered his face with his hand and a single tear slipped down his face before he could get his emotions in check, “Um”

“Oh, shit, sorry, guess not, totally off base with that, wow. I’m an asshole aren’t I. Fuck am I even gay, cause I’m just really feeling guys and not so much girls, and fuck I’m totally off base here. Just forget I said anything okay”, he was rambling, going on and on with no filter between his mouth and his brain and then Harry got up and without even thinking about it kissed Louis softly on the lips. It was barely a touch between them, it was just a soft sweet way of silencing Louis and attempting to let him know that his feelings were justified, and then Harry sat back down. “Okay now I’m even more confused”

“Sorry, you were rambling, and um, I was your boyfriend, I’m not currently”

“Oh, but you kissed me. Do you still love me? I mean you’re here with my family and there’s a connection, right. I mean I’m not the only one feeling that am I?”

“No”, Harry ran his palms across his jeans drying them, he was so nervous by this entire conversation that according to doctors he wasn’t even supposed to be happening, but here he was disobeying everything they had told him. “I’ll always love you. We separated a little over two years ago. You are actually seeing someone else right now”

Louis gritted his jaw, “And where the fuck is he?”

“He’s in London, I can call him if you want”, Harry started to pull out his phone.

“No, I mean why are you here and he’s not?”

“He figured you would prefer to see me. He was here, but it’s new with the two of you.”

Louis nodded, “Do I still love you?”

“Yes”, Harry answered knowing it was the right answer, “Even when we broke up, we still loved each other, we just had a difference of opinion”

“About what?”

The nurse came in then, silencing them both, “It’s time for your meds, Louis. He needs rest”, she glanced over at Harry, “You can come back later this evening if you like”. 

Harry nodded glad for the interruption since he wasn’t sure how to explain the break up without explaining how coming out was a huge deal for them since they are celebrities and that was a whole issue that he wasn’t sure that Louis would be ready to here. He said goodbye to Louis and rushed out of the hospital and back out into the pouring rain.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain, calls, a nap, and a text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been away from this story for a very long time. I guess it started with writers block and just not really feeling it anymore, then Zayn left the band, and Jay's death and I wasn't even sure I should finish this anymore. Lately I've been getting the urge to write again and I've got a whole new story in my brain, but I didn't think it was fair to start another one without at least attempting to finish the ones I had started and left abandoned years ago. Not sure if any of the old readers will even still be here, but I hope some come back, and hope there are some new ones as well.
> 
> So here it is...

The rain was coming down in buckets, Harry was drenched through by the time he got to his hotel. His socks were soaked and squishing in his shoes, his hair plastered to his back, but the short walk had been good for him. No umbrella, no coat, just Harry and his thoughts walking through London in a sheet of rain. The doorman of the hotel looked mortified as he recognized Harry and immediately rushed ahead with an umbrella trying to help, “Mr. Styles, I’m so sorry. The hotel would have sent a car wherever to pick you up. Can I get you some towels or have some tea sent up to your room?”

Harry just looked up at him, not caring about the rain or how he must have looked like a drowned rat, “Tea would be lovely, thank you.”

“Anything else, sir?”

“No, I’m actually fine, needed some fresh air, it’s just a little water.” He walked past a lobby full of employees and guests of the hotel, ignored the stares, and made a beeline for the elevators. He hadn’t spent much time here, he’d been mostly at the hospital or at Liam’s, but right now he had to let Louis rest and he didn’t want to face anyone else. 

Shortly after he got to his room there was a knock at the door with room service bringing up his tea. He tipped the young man before closing the door and continuing to strip out of his dripping clothes. The tea warmed him up, but the hot shower helped more than anything. Harry just stood there letting the hot water run over him blending in with his tears as he let everything that had happened over the last few days hit him. The image of Louis all bandaged up laying in that bed with no memories. Deep down he knew the physical parts would heal, the broken bones, the bruises, the burns, but it was the internal problem that he wasn’t sure was ever going to go away. The thought of Louis never knowing who they were to each other, or how much he loved his family, or all the memories of the band. There was so much that made up who Louis was and his memories were a big part of that. 

The shower ran cold by the time Harry stopped crying and thought about getting out. He dried off and then wrapped the towel around his waist before heading out into his room. The sun was now streaming through his window casting shadows across the bed. Harry glanced outside to see the rain had finally dissipated. He grabbed his phone and made the few phone calls he needed to make today. His management was still breathing down his neck about leaving with so many things on his schedule. Marissa had tried her best to handle everything, but it was Harry who was having to smooth everything over. 

It was a couple hours later, and a few screaming matches, but there had been some headway. He wasn’t going to get sued for breach of contract, but he was going to have to get back to work. He’d managed to get them to postpone the concert dates, and got them to let him do everything else from London. It meant rearranging almost everything, but if he had to have reporters and photographers come to him or phone in a few interviews then that’s what he was going to do. He’d made it abundantly clear that he wouldn’t be leaving London until he knew Louis was going to be okay. He also knew he couldn’t spend every waking second at the hospital or taking care of Louis so agreeing to get back to work was an easy option as soon as they said he could do it all from where he was. 

He was exhausted after all the calls so he grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels looking for something light hearted to watch. After a few minutes, he found Pretty Woman playing so he dropped the remote next to him and lay down on the bed on his stomach, clutching the pillow underneath his chest, his head resting on his hand. Julia Roberts was on the floor of the hotel room eating strawberries and laughing at I Love Lucy. He laughed and watched a little before his eyes were closing and he drifted off to sleep.

It must have been hours later when he woke up, drool on his pillow, and Sweet Home Alabama now playing on the television. It was at that part about a baby being in a bar and Harry laughed to himself, before pushing up from where he was laying and reaching out for his phone. He had several missed calls and texts, but it was a text from Louis that had his heart racing as he opened his phone to read it.

L: Thanks for earlier. I know it was “against the rules” and you didn’t have to. Mom came by at lunch with the older twins. It was awkward again. Hope it’s okay I sent you this text.

Harry must have read it four times before he tried to respond and even then, he just held his phone with his thumbs over the letters not sure what to say.

H: Of course it’s okay you text me. That’s why I gave you the phone.  
H: Sorry it was awkward again, it’ll get easier

Barely a few minutes passed before he received his answer.

L: Thanks again for the phone and yea hopefully it does get easier

Harry was just staring at the screen when another text came through.

L: Think you might come visit again today?

Harry’s heart was hammering in his chest. Louis wanted to see him enough that he was asking for a visit.

H: Was actually planning on it soon, but I can come now if you want???

L: Yea, but they keep giving me more meds. It’s possible I’ll be asleep when you get here. Just wake me up.

H: See you soon then.

Harry got up and pulled on a pair of jeans and a hoodie and was out the door. There was a different doorman now and the sun was setting painting pink streaks across the skyline. He grabbed a taxi and headed over to the hospital smiling knowing that Louis was waiting for him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis get to talk a little more

The nurse was hovering over Louis when Harry walked in the room, so he leaned against the wall waiting for her to finish taking his vitals. It wasn’t until she was done and moving toward the door that they saw him standing there. “Oh hello, I was just checking in on the patient.” He could tell when she recognized him, “I’m sorry, Mr. Styles, but it’s family only right now.”

Louis spoke up behind her, “It’s okay, he’s on the list of approved people. He was here earlier as well.”

The nurse hesitated looking unsure, “I’ll have to check on that, but I guess you can stay while I go make sure.”

Harry smiled his charming smile at her, “I promise, Dr. Evans okayed me, but if you need to check I understand and please call me Harry.” The nurse blushed dipping her head down and moved out of the room.

He moved over to the chair beside Louis’s bed, “Hey,” he smiled at Louis who was laying there watching him.

“Hey, how was your day?”

“It was okay, mainly just talked on the phone about work stuff, and then attempted to watch a movie, but I fell asleep. Then we texted and I left the hotel and came here. Pretty boring day actually.” Harry kept nervously messing with his hair.

“The hotel?” Louis looked confused, “Why are you staying in a hotel?”

“I live in Los Angeles, so when I heard about you I flew to London immediately. I don’t have a house here anymore.” Harry worried he might be saying too much, but he figured things about himself should be safe.

Louis looked at him curiously, “Oh, I guess I just assumed you lived here. Can’t believe you flew all the way here for me.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Harry fought the urge to take Louis’s hand in his own, “When Liam called me and said you were hurt. I dropped everything and came here. That’s why I was on the phone all day with work stuff, they weren’t exactly happy that I left so abruptly.”

“I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble,” Louis looked concerned.

“Don’t worry about that stuff. You just worry with getting yourself better,” Harry leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees.

The nurse came in again then, lightly knocking on the door, “Well it seems you’re okay to stay, Mr. Styles. It’s also time for Louis’s meds.” She moved around to the other side of the bed, checking his bag of fluids before inserting a needle into his IV line. “How’s the pain right now?”

“Um, about a 7,” Louis stated as she checked a few more things on his machine.

“Okay, well this should help. I’ll be back later, just page me if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Louis looked back over at Harry, “I’ll probably go to sleep soon. This stuff knocks me out. You don’t have to stay.”

“I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

Louis looked like he’d thought of something, “Who’s Liam, you said he’s the one that called you about me? Is he my boyfriend?”

Harry may have laughed a little at that, “No, he’s just another friend of ours. Once they let people besides family visit then I’m sure you’ll be meeting a lot more of your friends.”

Louis was already feeling the effects of his medicine, “I’m not sure I’m ready for more people. I’m overwhelmed with just family. I met the twins today, Daisy and Doris, I hate how weird it feels.” Harry was just grinning at him almost holding back a laugh, “What?”

“The twins are Daisy and Phoebe, and then the younger set you haven’t met yet is Doris and Ernest.”

“Shit,” Louis stated, “I’m never going to get all their names right. I have too many siblings.”

The green-eyed man just looked adoringly at Louis, “You’ll get it. It’s a lot to remember. You should get your rest. I can see your fighting it.”

Louis let his eyes shut, “I know, but you’re the only person I enjoy talking to.”

“Go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up,” Harry told him.

His voice was already sounding groggy, “You don’t have to.” Then he was out, light little breaths exhaling from his lips.

Harry stood up over him running his fingers through Louis’s hair, “I want to, baby. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Harry sat back down pulling out his phone and sending out a few texts checking in with the boys, Louis’s family, and Marissa to let her know about his morning conversations. The nurse came in a few more times checking in, Harry went down to the cafeteria to eat when his stomach growled and he realized he hadn’t eaten all day. The food was edible, but he would try to remember to bring something with him tomorrow to avoid having to eat there again.

He got back to the room, it was dark, just a soft light illuminating over Louis’s bed and he was still lying there sound asleep. Harry walked over to the window and looked down, some fans and media were still there milling about. It was less than a few days ago, and he wished he could tell Louis about the outpouring of love he was getting from around the world. He also knew that learning about One Direction, the fame, and everything else was a lot to put on him, when he was having enough issue with just dealing with his family. 

“Harry?”

“Yea, Louis, I’m still here.” Harry moved back over to the chair and took a seat. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yea, talk to me some more. Tell me about us?”

Harry rubbed his hands against his jeans, “I’m not sure I should.”

Louis looked disappointed, “Okay, then tell me about you. What do you do for your job?”

“I’m not sure I can tell you that either since you know we used to work together and that would be telling you about your job too, but you knew that which was why you were asking.”

Louis laughed, “Can’t get anything past you, Styles.” He moved slightly in the bed trying to get comfortable. “Will you help me with my pillows?”

“Sure,” Harry stood up moving closer, “What do I need to do?”

“Just fluff them a little and help me move up a bit,” Louis tried to lift his head to accommodate Harry, but he wasn’t strong enough. Harry lifted his head for him, shifted the pillows, and then maneuvered Louis’s body up the bed. In doing so he realized they were very close, face to face, and Louis was staring up at him in a way that Harry knew all too well. Harry’s chest tightened, he bit his lip, and gripped the bed hard trying to fight off every urge in his body to kiss him again.

He managed to move away, the air still thick between them, “Better?” 

Louis licked his lips, “Why did we break up? Was it my fault?”

Harry shook his head, “It was mutual, we um.”

“Had a difference of opinion,” Louis interrupted, “Yea, you said that before. What happened?”

Harry closed his eyes tightly trying to push away the memories attacking him. He hated remembering that day, he suddenly thought how lucky Louis was that he didn’t have those memories. That day was one of the worst days of his life and many nights he dreamed of how it could have been different if he’d just done things differently. It wasn’t like it helped anything, Harry still hadn’t come out to the press knowing that with all the theories about the two of them it would be like outing Louis too. He’d kept his truth quiet to protect the love of his life and he’d still stupidly let him go. He opened his eyes and Louis was just sitting there watching him waiting for an answer and Harry wasn’t sure how to give it to him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More conversation, feelings revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to be back to writing and I'm enjoying this story again. Hate that I was away from it for so long.

Harry moved about, pacing in the room, running his hands through his hair, trying to figure out the best way to tell Louis what had happened between them. “I guess it all comes down to the fact that I needed something from you that you weren’t ready to give.”

“That’s still not really telling me anything. I know you’re trying to listen to my doctor and hell maybe he’s right to not let me know too much. It’s just I have nothing to hold on to. I see what is my family and I don’t feel anything. I don’t know them. I see you and I don’t know you, I don’t remember you, but,” Louis paused and looked down at the bed, “but when you’re here I wish I knew you. You make me want to remember.”

Harry stood there, tears running down his face, he brushed them off with his shirt sleeve before moving over to Louis’s side. He took his hand in his and squeezed just a little not wanting to hurt his Louis. “I want you to remember. I want you to know everything we’ve ever shared, but if that doesn’t happen it’ll be okay.” He looked up into Louis’s blue eyes, “I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me you don’t want me here.”

“Then tell me what happened, so I know not to do it again.”

Harry gulped and sat down in the chair while still holding his hand, “I wanted to come out as gay. I wanted us to be out together, but you weren’t ready. I think you were scared of what people would think or say and I stupidly gave you an ultimatum. I said if you were going to be with me then you had to be out. We fought, we called each other names, and neither one of us would budge. I’ve regretted that decision every day, but I didn’t know how to fix us. I guess I assumed one day when you were ready to be out you would find your way back to me.”

Louis just lay there thinking over Harry’s words, “And now I have a new boyfriend? Am I out now?”

Harry shook his head, “No, and I just found out about the new guy, his name is Pedro by the way. He seems nice enough.”

“You hate him, don’t you?”

Harry laughed, “Maybe a little. I’d hate anyone who you were with.”

“I was an idiot to let you go,” Louis ran his thumb over Harry’s hand.

“We both were idiots. I think I knew that, but when I got the call about you, when I learned I could lose you forever it really made me angry at the time we wasted being foolish. I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste any more time, and then I got here and you were in a coma and there was this boyfriend. Then you woke up and didn’t know me. It sort of changed all my plans of winning you back. I don’t want to push you into anything, or ask you to leave your current boyfriend, but I guess if you want me I’m here. I’m yours.” More tears were spilling down his cheeks and he hoped he wasn’t crossing some line that he shouldn’t be, but this was his Louis. This was the love of his life and he wasn’t going to let Pedro, or amnesia, or anything stand between them again. 

“I wish I could remember.” Louis fidgeted with the blanket, “How long were we together?”

“Almost 6 years”

Louis looked shocked, “Really, wow, I mean we seem young for that. How old were we when we got together like 12 or something?”

Harry laughed, “I was 16, you were 18. Fuck, I’m telling you too much. Your doctor is going to kill me.”

“Not if he doesn’t know. I haven’t told anyone about our earlier chat and I don’t have to say anything about this one. I don’t want to get you into trouble.” Louis’s eyes were getting heavy again, “I’m getting tired again. It’s late, you should go get some rest so you can visit again tomorrow.” Louis smiled as his eyes drifted shut.

Harry sat there a little longer, just watching Louis sleep, comforted by the way his chest would rise and fall. The nurse came in again checking on everything and she seemed happy that Louis was still resting. She switched out his fluids and administered more meds. “Do you need a cot or anything tonight?” She asked him.

“No, I’m going to head out soon, just wasn’t quite ready to leave yet.” Harry watched her leave and then stood up giving Louis a light kiss on the lips before leaving and heading back to his hotel. The night air was chilly on his skin, it was late so there weren’t many people out. He hailed a cab and instead of giving out the name of the hotel, he gave out his old address. He hadn’t seen the damage to the house that he had once shared with Louis and although part of him didn’t want to know he knew he had to go and check it out.

They pulled up at the house a short drive later, police tape still around it, most of the building was gone, the parts that were left were black, burned, the smell still permeating the air with smoke. So many memories shared in this home, now it was gone too along with every piece of art and furniture and little knick-knacks they had collected together over the years. It was all just gone. He gave the driver the name of the hotel then unable to look at their home any longer now that it was just a pile of ash.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More conversations and Louis learns some things.

He was burning, flames surrounding him, smoke caught in his chest leaving him gasping for breath; Harry woke up screaming out, covered in sweat from his nightmare. He hadn’t been the one in the fire, but seeing the house last night and imagining what Louis must have gone through had racked his brain all night. He’d had trouble falling asleep and now it was 2am and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go back to bed. His skin was crawling, his breath labored as he got up to grab a water out of the mini fridge. He checked his emails and then listened to some music trying to calm his mind. It was around 6 with the sun coming up that he finally fell back asleep.

It was hours later when he woke up again, this time feeling somewhat rested. He took a shower, got dressed, and then headed out the door to the only place he wanted to be. Traffic was terrible during lunch hour rush, so it was almost 1 before he made it into Louis’s room. He was sitting up talking to Lottie, she got up when she saw Harry and they hugged. Harry looked over at Louis, “How you feeling today?”

“Like shit, actually.” 

Lottie chimed in, “I’ve actually been here a while, so I think I’ll head out now that you’re here,” she kissed Harry on the cheek and said a quick goodbye to Louis.

Harry walked her out and then came back to Louis’s side, “Sorry you’re not feeling great today. Do you need me to get a nurse?”

Louis forced a smile, “No, they have me on as much pain meds as they can give me. They changed my bandages today and it just hurts a lot, but I’m dealing.”

“Should I go and let you get some rest?” Harry hated seeing him like this. He could see how much pain he was in radiating from his eyes.

“No”, Louis shook his head, “I’ve been waiting to see you all day. Mom and Fizzy were here earlier and well you saw Lottie.”

Harry took a seat, “Yea I slept like hell last night, so once I finally got to sleep I was later waking up than I wanted to be, sorry. I wanted to be here before now.”

Louis smiled, “Well you’re here now. They said friends could start coming tomorrow. I’m pretty nervous about that.”

“You could tell them no, say you’re not ready.” Harry fidgeted with his rings.

Louis attempted to shrug, “Thought about it, but I’m just going to have to get it done eventually so might as well.” He tried to adjust his position looking uncomfortable, “But Lottie did show me some pictures of my friends and stuff. She wouldn’t tell me anything about them, but thought it might be nice to know who might be coming by. I have some hot friends.”

Harry smirked at him, “Oh you do, huh? Should I be jealous?”

“Maybe,” he giggled. “But I was thinking, you know I have hot friends and you’re pretty hot, so am I you know good looking too?”

Harry hadn’t thought about it before, that Louis probably had no idea what he even looked like, “Louis, you’re stunning.”

“Wow, stunning and I was just hoping for cute.”

“You never really liked being called cute,” Harry told him. “You’re a little sensitive with that word, and tiny. Although you are cute and tiny, I’d have probably gotten a smack for calling you that before.” Harry tried to hold back the giggle at the thought of what the old Louis would have said in response to being called that. “I don’t have a mirror with me, but I can show you a picture of yourself.”

Louis beamed, “Yes, please. I’d love that.”

Harry grabbed his phone and scrolled through his camera roll, “Okay, one of you younger, one of us together, or something more recent?”

“Can’t I see all of them?”

Harry just grinned at him, "One a day, I’ll show you one picture a day, so which one today?”

“Hmmm,” Louis was thinking, “the one of you and me, please.”

He thumbed through his iPhone looking for one that wouldn’t reveal too much. He found one of the two of them in their old house cuddling on the couch in jumpers at Christmas. Harry turned the phone around so Louis could see them.

Louis just stared at the screen not saying anything for a few seconds, “We look really happy.”

Tears threatened to spill over Harry’s cheeks, “We were, we were really happy.”

“I’m fairly good looking. It’s weird, I’m not really sure what I thought I’d look like. I don’t even recognize myself. I think maybe I thought I would, but I don’t.” He paused a moment before asking. “So, I get another picture tomorrow?”

“Yea”, Harry wiped a tear from his face, before changing the subject, “So, what are we going to discuss today?”

Louis looked embarrassed as he asked, “Um, maybe you can show me how to use this phone. I had the nurse show me how to text, but I have no idea what the other buttons do.”

“Sorry, should have already done that, guess I just assumed you’d know how. I shouldn’t do that.” Harry took some time showing Louis how to do everything from playing music, to making phone calls, showing him how to play the games, use the camera, his book app, and the Netflix app. He’d intentionally left off all the social media apps so he couldn’t stumble onto anything he shouldn’t see. Louis was grinning by the time they were done, he was intrigued the most with the games and Netflix. He made Harry put all the movies and shows he would like on his watch list. 

They had just finished their little tutorial when the nurse came in to check him over and administer more pain meds. “Will you be here when I wake up?” Louis asked as he was already fighting sleep.

“Maybe, I’m probably going to head out for lunch and I need to check in with some of our friends. Do you want me to tell them they can start visiting tomorrow?” Harry was already standing up to give Louis time to rest.

“Yea, but maybe they can spread it out over a few days and not all come tomorrow?” Louis rubbed his nose and closed his eyes, “Come back later though, okay?”

Harry leaned over and kissed his forehead, “Promise, I’ll check in again tonight. Now get some sleep.” Louis was already out before Harry left the room. Harry had a few errands to run and then he’d be back with his boy.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry visits the boys, and gets an unexpected phone call that changes things.

His stomach was growling as he exited the hospital realizing it was late afternoon and he hadn’t eaten anything today. He walked across the street to a pub and ordered some fish and chips to go. Harry had a drink while he was waiting and sent Liam a text that he was going to head over in a few minutes and asked if he wanted him to pick him up anything from the pub. Liam shot him back a text saying he didn’t need anything and he’d let the other boys know too.

A few minutes later he was paying his tab, grabbing his take-out order, and hailing a cab. He picked at the chips on the way to quiet his stomach. It wasn’t long before they were pulling up outside Liam’s place and he ran into Niall on the way in, “Hey, how’s Louis doing today?”

“Not great, seems really painful, they changed his bandages, but he was resting when I left. How are you doing?” Harry made conversation while they headed up to the door past the main gate.

Liam was already there opening the door, “Zayn’s on his way, how’s Louis?”

Harry went through the same spill with Liam while he was finally eating his lunch and once again when Zayn got there a few minutes later. “He’s okay to get visitors as of tomorrow, but he’d rather it be a one at a time thing and not all on the same day. You guys can work out a schedule and he doesn’t know about the band. Just say your friends or coworkers, whichever sounds better to you. He’s nervous about meeting everyone and it really hasn’t been going well with his family. He won’t say it and they’re not saying it, but I can see the strain it’s putting on all of them.”

Liam was next to him, rubbing his shoulder trying to be supportive, “We’ll do whatever he needs, we’re here for him, and for you. Do you need anything? You handling all this okay?”

Harry finally crumpled, shaking his head no letting Liam pull him in for a hug, “I went and saw the house last night. I could have lost him. He could have died that night and I would have been across the world just sleeping alone in my bed, when I should have been here with him. I should have been here with all of you. I’ve been such an idiot.” The tears were streaming down his face, and two other pairs of arms were suddenly around him. He leaned into it, letting his boys hold him up now that he was exhausted from doing it alone for too long.

They just stood there for a while, no one really saying or doing anything, until Niall broke the silence, “You’re not an idiot, and Louis didn’t die. He’s alive and he may not know us right now, and either he gets his memories back or he doesn’t. Either way we are a team, we’ve always been a team, and we will stay that way.”

Harry stepped back wiping away his tears, “I know, I’ve uh, actually been telling him some things about us. I’m not supposed to, but it’s been nice. He feels the connection between us even if he doesn’t understand it.”

Zayn, always the quiet one, finally said something, “No one ever understood your connection, but I’m not surprised he feels something. The two of you were glued together from the moment you laid eyes on each other. He’ll find his way back to you.” Zayn ruffled Harry’s hair.

Liam spoke up next, “Niall, you should take the first day at the hospital visiting him, you’re good at keeping people at ease and keeping it light hearted. Louis needs that now. I’ll hover too much and Zayn will be all intense. We’ll figure out the rest later.”

They were all discussing it when Harry’s phone rang, he recognized the number as Louis’s number, “Hello?”

“Hey, uh, Harry?” He sounded agitated.

“Yea, it’s me. What’s wrong?”

“Can you come back now? This weird guy just showed up in my room taking pictures of me. Security got him out, but I’m kinda freaked out.”

“Yes”, Harry was fuming, “I’ll be right there. I’m on my way.” They hung up and then Harry looked at the other boys, “A fucking paparazzi just showed up in his room and took pictures. I have no idea how he got passed security, but I have a feeling I’m going to have to hire professionals. I’ve got to go.” He quickly said his goodbyes and realizing it would take time to call a cab, “Zayn, can I get a ride?” He nodded and they left together.

It wasn’t long before Harry was jumping out of the car and rushing up to Louis’s room. He was sitting up in his bed, phone in hand, and Harry could hear the song streaming from the speaker. He recognized it immediately and gritted his jaw in anger at what that paparazzo had done. “Hey,” he said over the music. 

Louis hit the pause button silencing Drag Me Down, “Hey.”

Harry sat next to him and looked over at the phone screen seeing them all there in their space suits, “So, you know?”

Shock was etched all over his face, “I’m famous, and in a band, I can sing? I don’t even know what to think, it’s so much.”

“That’s why we were waiting for a good time to tell you,” Harry took the phone from him, “How many have you watched?”

Louis looked down at his lap, “That was the first one. The guy with the camera, he was taking pictures and asking questions. The flashes were all in my face, but I heard him mention something about One Direction, so I looked it up while I was waiting. I didn’t even expect to see myself and funny thing is I wouldn’t even have known it was me if you hadn’t shown me the picture earlier. Should I keep watching or I guess I shouldn’t right, I mean it’s all stuff I shouldn’t know?”

Harry scrolled through the videos, “No, I’m done hiding shit from you. I tried listening to the doctor, but then some asshole gets in here and you’re not prepared for it. So, if we’re doing this, we start at the beginning. There’s no way we are getting through it all tonight, we’ll do a little at a time.” Harry found the video for their x-factor journey, it was a long one, so he got comfortable, pressed play, and handed the phone back to Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of this story, and since I started it before it happened, let's just all pretend that Zayn never left the band.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets to relive a little bit of his x-factor days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry haven't updated for a few days, been busy working, and just well normal stuff, but here is another chapter, hope you like this one.

Louis held the phone in his hand watching the video start, music playing, a picture of all the boys, and then a young Harry with curls was on the screen saying his name. Louis paused the video, “Maybe I shouldn’t see this? What if this is all too much? I mean am I supposed to watch all my memories like this?”

Harry took his hand in his, “If you don’t want to watch, I’ll turn it off. I just, it’s, you’ve been asking questions, you wanted to know, and these aren’t your memories. This is a camera view of a tv show that you were on. It’s not from your point of view, and there is no way that this shows even a fraction of what we experienced during this time. It’s just a little piece of your story, but we don’t have to watch. This is completely up to you.”

“I’m scared,” Louis’s hands were shaking, “Shit my heart is pounding,” he took Harry’s hand and placed it against his chest trying to let him feel his heart rate. “I mean I want to know, but it’s just.”

Harry squeezed his hand, “I know it’s a lot, fuck, maybe you shouldn’t watch it, but you know it could help or it could make everything worse. I don’t know and I’m not going to force you into anything. This is your decision, Lou.”

He looked at the screen, young Harry paused with his mouth just barely open, “You look so young there.”

Harry smiled, “I was sixteen. I was young there,” he laughed at himself.

“We could try it, and if it freaks me out, we can stop it, right?” Louis’s hand hovering over the play button on the screen. Harry nodded and Louis pushed play. They watched his little interview, Louis smiling the whole time while Harry tried to ignore his younger self looking back at him. “You’re quite adorable, you know that though don’t you?”

“Shush,” Harry put his finger to his lips hushing him, “You’re supposed to be watching.”

Louis’s hand gripped hard against Harry’s squeezing it hard, “Haz, I just remembered something, Holy shit, I had a memory,” tears springing to his eyes.

Harry paused the video again, “You just called me Haz, do you remember calling me Haz?”

“What?” Louis looked up in confusion, “I called you Haz, wow, maybe I remembered two things then, no I uh, remember you climbing into my bed, it was a small bed, like a bunk bed, and you were young, like you are in the video, you startled me and I went to scream out and you shushed me, just like you just did, and I let you stay in the bed,” Louis grinned at the memory, “We just laid in bed together cuddling and talking, it was nice.”

Harry took a deep breath, and just stared at him, tears rolling down his face, “Yea, I remember that. It was the first time I snuck into your bed during x-factor, I kept doing it loads more after that night, but you were only startled the first time.”

“And I used to call you, Haz?”

“Yea, it’s one of my nicknames,” Harry wanted to tell someone, he wanted to scream it out into the night, he wanted to kiss him, but he just sat there holding onto him thinking for the first time that maybe everything was going to be okay, maybe he would get his Louis back after all.

“I want to keep watching,” Louis smiled and pressed play. Harry bantered back and forth, Louis laughed when he said he worked in a bakery, and then he watched as Harry sang Isn’t she Lovely. He was smiling through the whole thing, “Oh damn that guy Louis just said no to you, what an ass. Glad you made it through though.” His smile faded and he concentrated as Liam came on screen. He watched the story unfold, and Harry found himself watching Louis more than he was watching the video. "He’s really good, his audition is better than yours.”

Harry laughed at his bluntness, but Louis was always like that, saying whatever might pop in his head. “Gee thanks a lot.”

“No, I mean yours was good too, sorry.” They watched as Liam made it through easily, and then Louis was on the screen, “Oh god, that hair,” then he was singing, “I’m shit, how did I make it in the band, they said yes,” and then his part was over and Niall was on screen, “They barely even showed me, maybe I shouldn’t watch,” he paused it again and it was good timing as the nurse walked in.

“Evening, how are you doing tonight, heard you had a bit of a scare earlier?” The nurse questioned as she went to the other side of the bed and checked all his vitals and his fluids hooked up to a machine. Louis hid the phone screen from her.

“Okay, I guess, Harry’s hear now so that helps.” The nurse nodded over at Harry, “And I guess I feel better than this morning pain wise.”

“It’ll be time for more meds soon and Dr. Evans says you can have some food tomorrow, no more Jell-O and broth for you. I’ll check on you again soon.” Then she was gone and it was just the two of them again.

Louis looked at the phone screen paused on Niall’s face, “Maybe I’m not ready for this.”

“We don’t have to watch anymore if you don’t want to,” Harry told him and started to take away the phone.

“There’s two more auditions, right?” Harry nodded to him, and Louis held the phone tightly in his hand, “Okay, we finish the auditions and see how I feel. I just thought I would sound better than that.”

Harry ran his hand through Louis’s hair unable to stop himself, “You have a beautiful voice, Louis. I promise, and yea, you may not see it much on x-factor, they didn’t utilize you the way they should have, but believe me when I say you are the backbone of this band, and we’d never been shit without you.”

Louis smiled at his words and pressed play. He laughed a bit at Niall, “He’s not that great either, is he?”

Harry laughed out loud, “You can tell him that yourself when he comes to see you tomorrow.”

“He’s coming tomorrow?” Louis looked nervous.

Harry calmed him with just a look, “Yea, and you’ll love him and he won’t give two shits if you say his audition sucked, he’d agree with you and tell you yours was shit as well.”

They watched Zayn and then watched as the boys were getting called on stage after thinking they hadn’t made it in the competition. “That was one of the best days of my life,” Harry told him as the screen moved on to judges houses. “Keep watching, or stop here?”

“A little more”, Louis kept going watching as he was helped into a hospital and the boys worrying about what it would mean for them. “A freaking sea urchin got me?” Harry didn’t answer as they watched them sing Torn. They watched as they awaited their fate to see if they make it to the live show, “Guess we make it, huh?” Louis joked before seeing the results. He watched them learn the good news, hugging, crying, and then he paused it, “I feel like I’m watching someone else’s life even though I know it’s me on the screen. It’s a weird feeling. Think I want to stop for tonight, is that okay?”

Harry nodded, “Of course, whatever you want. How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

“Nervous,” Louis reached out for Harry, “Will you be here with me for it, for my friends showing up. I figure you know them all and can I don’t know help me through it. I don’t think I can do it alone.”

The nurse came in again before Harry could answer, “Time for your meds, dear,” she gave him the injection, checked him over once more, and then left the room.

Harry moved Louis’s tray table away and put his phone down for him, “I know you’ll be dozing off soon, so I’m going to head out, but yes, I’ll be here tomorrow, all day if you need me. I’m going to go get some rest so I’ll be back bright and early.” Louis smiled and nodded at Harry’s words and was already feeling the effects of the drugs, his eyelids heavy and falling shut. “Goodnight, Lou,” he kissed his forehead and left once Louis was fast asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A much needed conversation

It was early when Harry walked into Louis’s hospital room carrying two cups of tea. Louis was sitting up in his bed running a fork through the food on his tray. His whole face lit up when he looked up and saw Harry walking in, “Hey,” he shoved the tray away from him, “I was excited about eating, but didn’t know food was going to taste so bad.”

Harry laughed, “It doesn’t, well normal food doesn’t,” he sat down and placed the drinks on the table, “hospital food isn’t known for being very good.”

“That doesn’t seem right, people in here trying to get healthy and they’re feeding them this crap,” Louis crossed his arms over his chest in frustration.

“Well I brought you some tea, just like you like it, guess I should have brought some food too.” Harry leaned over and looked at the tray of eggs, porridge, and toast, “you really should eat something, maybe just the bread. I mean they can’t screw up toast.”

Louis sipped on his tea before begrudgingly grabbing the piece of bread, ripping off a corner bite, and placing it cautiously in his mouth. He chewed it slowly before swallowing and tearing off another piece, “It’s not terrible. I like the tea, though, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry drank his own cup and just sat back watching Louis chew on his breakfast. “Still nervous about today?”

Louis nodded, “Yea, I’m glad you’re here.” He looked around for a moment before whispering, “I watched the rest of that video last night and maybe a few more.”

“Seriously, you were supposed to be sleeping,” Harry scolded him. “What did you think about what you saw?”

He finished chewing on the last of his toast, “I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I started watching videos again. The rest of the one we started and then there was some video diaries, and a couple music videos.”

“Any more memories come back to you?” Harry couldn’t help but ask the question he wanted to hear answers to.

Louis just shook his head no, “but I liked the diaries, could we have been more obvious about each other?”

Laughter erupted out of Harry, “No, probably not, we were pretty smitten with each other. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”

Louis felt his heart race at Harry’s words, “I wish I could remember. I want to know what that felt like, what being with you was like.”

“You remembered a little last night, that’s a really good sign that more memories could come. Don’t push it, just let it happen.” Harry tried to be reassuring, but then the nurse was coming in to check on Louis again.

She looked at his food tray and scowled a bit at how little he’d eaten, checked his vitals, drew some blood, and then was on her way. Louis started to say something, but then someone else was entering the room, “Hello?”

“Hi,” said a voice that Harry immediately recognized even though he’d wanted to forget about him. “Is it okay if I come in?” Louis smiled unsurely, but nodded for him to enter, “My name is Pedro, I’m a uh, friend of yours,” he nodded over at Harry, “Nice to see you again.”

Louis recognized the name and knew who this man was, Harry had been telling him about things he wasn’t supposed to know about. He quickly decided to pretend like he didn’t know the man in front of him was his boyfriend. The main problem was he didn’t want to know that, he didn’t want this man in front of him. Louis wanted Harry, he knew it deep down in his soul, even if he couldn’t remember, and even if this tall tanned man named Pedro was extremely attractive. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

Pedro walked over to the other side of the room and leaned against the window, “I, uh, don’t know how to say this really, but I’ve been here in London waiting to see you. You weren’t allowed regular visitors and I didn’t want to leave without coming here in person. I have to get back to Brazil, I work there, but I needed to make sure you were okay.”

Louis smiled and reached over taking Harry’s hand in his, “I’m getting there, Harry here is helping me. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” he smiled innocently all the while knowing exactly what he was doing.

“I see, so then, I know I can go and leave you in his capable hands,” he stepped closer to Louis bracing his self on the rail of his bed, “I’m happy you are doing better. Good bye, Louis.” 

“Goodbye, Pedro,” Louis smiled up at him, liking him from just this one exchange. It had all been said without really being said. Pedro was leaving, he wasn’t going to stand in the way of what Louis wanted. He wasn’t sure how this other man seemed to know exactly what he needed, but he was happy it had all been so easy. “Thank you for coming to see me. I think we must have been really good friends.”

Pedro smiled, “We were, and if you ever need anything, just call.” He shook Harry’s hand on his way out and then he was gone.

Harry got up and walked over to the window looking outside, “You knew who that was, right?”

“My ex-boyfriend, it would seem after that conversation,” Louis watched Harry and the way the sun shone on his face, “Do you think, you might want to be my boyfriend again?”

Harry spun around at the unexpected question unsure how to answer it. He wanted to say yes, he wanted Louis back in his life, but there were so many obstacles. He knew Louis didn’t remember him and if he never did it would be like starting all over, but if he did remember would he go back to wanting to stay in the closet. He stood there over Louis, his heart pounding as he looked into those perfect blue eyes not sure how he should answer.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New friends and an important talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel like I haven't updated this as soon as I should have, but been busy and tired, you know how that goes. But here is the next update and I hope you all like it. Not sure when I'll get to the next update since tomorrows my birthday and then I work all weekend, but I'll get back to it as soon as I can.

The unanswered question hung in the air, Harry not sure how to answer. He wanted to be with Louis so much, but it all felt too soon for that. “I um.”

Before he could say anything an Irish voice he knew all too well was filling up the room, “Hello there. I’m Niall.”

Louis smiled nervously from the bed, “Hi, I’m Louis, I mean, hi, you already know I’m Louis, sorry,” he was flustered playing with his sheets.

“No prob, mate, let’s start fresh, I’m Niall, it’s nice to meet you,” and he put his hand out waiting for Louis to shake it.

Louis smiled and shook his hand, “I’m Louis, nice to meet you too,” he looked relieved and smiled over at Harry.

“I was a coworker of yours, I’m really glad you’re doing better, had us scared for a bit there,” Niall who had been holding something behind his back swung it around for everyone to see. “I know hospital food sucks, so I may have snuck you in some KFC.”

Harry just shook his head, “seriously, he’s been eating broth and Jell-O for days and you bring him greasy food. I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”

Niall looked worried, “It’s just some popcorn chicken and fries and maybe a little gravy. Shit sorry, it probably was a bad idea, but Louis loves KFC.”

“What’s KFC?” Louis piped up from the bed.

Harry grabbed the bag from Niall, “It’s fast food, it’s not nutritional at all, but yea, you lived off this crap. I’m just worried it’s going to upset your stomach.”

Louis nodded thinking it over, “Maybe just a couple bites then. I won’t eat it all, but I’d like to try it, please.”

Harry stared at the poor pitiful blue eyes begging him and those cute little lips pouting and he gave in, “Okay, a few bites, and no one tells the nurses where this came from.” He took a few things out of the bag and offered it to Louis.

He eagerly took bites of everything, his eyes lighting up in delight at every morsel he was allowed, “That’s way better than that crap they served this morning.”

They all laughed, talked the morning away, and Louis was at ease listening to Harry’s bad jokes, and eventually they told Niall that Louis knew about the band and had watched some videos. Harry told him that he could trust the boys from the band not to say anything to the doctors about how Harry had told him things he wasn’t supposed to. 

Stan came a little after Niall had left, it went okay, and then a few more friends and family through the day between his meds and rest times. Once the sun went down Louis was worn out and just wanted to be alone, but he also didn’t want Harry to leave yet. He’d enjoyed having him there all day. He was yawning and fighting to keep his eyes open, “I should probably head out, you’ve had a really big day today.”

Louis nodded, “Yea, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but it still feels weird to have everyone staring at me and wishing I’d remember them. You’re coming again, tomorrow right?”

“Yea, of course,” Harry paused, “So, um, a few things we need to go over. The boyfriend question, I want to, but,”

“But not now, right?” Louis interrupted.

“Not yet, I think the best thing right now is for you to heal, and for me and you to take this slow. Okay?”

Louis seemed resigned to the answer as if he was already expecting it, “Yea, probably makes the most sense. I can get to know you all over again.” He looked away for a moment and then back to Harry, “You said a few things, what else do we need to discuss?”

“The hospital seems to think they can release you in a couple days. You’re going to still need a lot of treatment and rehab. You’re going to be in a wheelchair and need round the clock care. There are a few options and the doctor wanted to go over all of them with you, but I said I’d do that. He went over it all with me and the family earlier when you were napping.” Harry took a deep breath hoping he hadn’t overstepped but he wanted to discuss this with Louis.

Louis looked stunned, “I didn’t think I’d be leaving so soon. I have no idea where to even go.”

“That’s part of what we need to discuss,” Harry was pacing, and pulling on his lips nervously, “So, we can put you in an assisted living rehab center, it’ll be kinda like the hospital, or you can go home with your family and hire nurses and staff to help you, or you can let me take care of you.”

Louis’ eyes were wide and staring up at Harry, “You would take care of me?”

“Yea, I mean not just me, I’d hire nurses and stuff too, and I don’t have a house here, and well now neither do you, but I have a couple days I’m sure I can get together a place we can live, you know if that’s what you want?” Harry went and stood by the window wondering if this plan was even a good idea.

Louis laughed a bit, “So no to the boyfriend thing, but you’re good with living together, seems a bit fast doesn’t it?”

 

“You’d have your own room, and we could spend time together, you know like we do now, but in a less sterile environment. Of course, this all hinges on you even wanting to do that. You could go home to your mom, she’d love to pamper you, but I know your family still makes you a bit nervous. You can also do the rehab center, it’s really nice, state of the art and all your treatments and things would be there close by. I mean that one makes the most sense,” he knew he was rambling, but he didn’t know how to stop.

Louis finally spoke up, “Harry, I want to stay with you, if it’s not too much trouble. I know you have a life and a job, but I’m most comfortable with you.”

A huge grin broke out over his face in relief, “Okay, then that’s what we’re doing. I’ll be here some tomorrow, but I guess I also need to start figuring out stuff for us, a place to live, in home nurses, transportation for you and your wheelchair to your appointments. I know this is probably the situation that makes the least sense, but I’m happy about it.”

Louis took Harry’s hand in his, “Me too.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets to leave the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter, enjoy...

The last two days had been full of preparation and Harry was beyond stressed as he met with Marissa to go over all the last-minute details. He’d flown her in immediately when he realized how much he was going to have to do to make the move as seamless as possible for Louis. A realtor had been hired to find a house that was equipped for wheelchair accessibility and all of Louis’ new needs. Marissa had handled buying the wheelchair and a new van they could use for transportation. She’d also hired an interior designer to furnish the house and make it as homey as possible. He’d wanted it to be comfortable and inviting when Louis got there.

Harry had handled hiring in home nurses, a cleaning service, a chef, and a physical therapist for Louis. He was pretty sure everything had been handled when Marissa and he pulled up to the hospital to pick up Louis. His palms were sweating as they entered the front doors and headed up the elevators. It felt like just yesterday he was heading up this same elevator with Liam not knowing what he was walking into. Louis had come so far since then, but he still had a long way to go. 

Louis was sitting up in the bed when they walked in a big smile on his face. “Hey, just waiting on the final discharge papers and then I can get out of here.”

“Great”, Harry gestured towards Marissa, “this is Marissa, my personal assistant and she’s been helping me get everything set up for you.”

“Nice to meet you,” Louis nodded in her direction.

Marissa smiled, “You too, I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you.”

The nurse came in then with all the final paperwork. She went over some things with Harry and let him know when all of Louis’ next appointments would be. Harry already knew most of it and had already had Dr. Evans send the nurses he’d hired all the instructions they would need for Louis’ care. Then an orderly was there helping Louis into a wheelchair and they were headed out of the hospital. Marissa had gone down first to pull the van around and was there waiting by the curb when they wheeled Louis out.

Harry and the orderly worked together to carry Louis over to the van and get him situated comfortably before Harry climbed into the passenger side. “It feels good to be outside,” Louis said as soon as they were pulling out of the parking lot. “Can we roll the windows down?”

“Sure,” Harry rolled down a couple windows and looked back at Louis’ hair blowing in the breeze and a smile on his face as he looked at everything they passed. He looked like a child seeing the world for the first time and Harry realized that in many ways he was exactly that. “I’ve got a nurse waiting at the house to get you all situated when we get there.”

The smile faded a bit from his face, “Okay.”

“Everything okay?” Harry was turned around in the seat watching him.

Louis looked directly into his green eyes, “Yea, just really tired of nurses. Was hoping to just be on my own, but I know I’m not exactly ready for that.”

“I won’t have them there all night. He’ll get you situated, check your vitals, get your meds in order, and then I’ll send him on his way, okay?” Harry reached out and placed a hand on Louis’ knee.

A short time later and they were pulling up to the house, Louis’ eyes practically bugged out of his head when he saw it, “This is the house? How many people live here?”

Harry laughed, “just us”, the nurse was already running out as Harry opened up the sliding door, “and this is Sam, your nurse, Sam this is Louis,” as he gestured between them. They shook hands and then Sam picked Louis up as if he weighed nothing and set him in his wheelchair. He wheeled Louis inside as Harry asked, “So do you want him to set you up in the living room on the couch or in your room?”

“The living room, I think I’ve been cooped up in a room long enough,” Louis let Sam pick him up and place him on the couch. Harry let Sam check Louis over and get him his meds, so he went around the house checking it over making sure it was up to his standards. He checked Louis’ room, he’d had the room decorated similarly to how his room had been before, black comforter with red sheets and pillows. He checked the closet seeing Marissa had done as asked and stocked it with comfy clothes in Louis’ size.

He walked downstairs to see Sam finishing up with everything and Marissa checking the fridge to see the chef Harry had hired had already prepared some meals and stored them to be heated up when needed. Harry walked them both out and then it was just him and Louis alone in the big house. The silence was almost uncomfortable at first. Louis took a deep breath, “Are you sure this isn’t all too much? I feel like I’m a lot of trouble, and this house is huge. I didn’t need all this.”

“Our old house was twice this big, you just can’t remember it, and you are never too much trouble. I wanted to do this, and I figured eventually when you don’t need this house I’ll give it to a charity or a family in need of a house equipped for a disabled child or something.” Harry sat down next to Louis on the big wrap around sofa. 

“I just don’t want you to resent me, and then you go and say things like give away a house to charity and I think maybe you’re just too nice for your own good. You can’t just give away houses,” Louis was talking animatedly.

Harry just smiled and leaned back next to him, “I’ll never resent you for any of this, and I’m not a saint or anything. I’ll get a huge tax break if I give it to a charity, but yea I like being nice. It never hurts anyone to do the right thing.”

“Sure you’re not a saint?” Louis laughed at him, “Sam is nice, he’s too good looking though.”

“He is too attractive, I almost didn’t hire him because of that, but he came with excellent references, and I liked that he was strong enough to move you around since you can’t walk on your own yet.” Harry noticed Louis’ eyes getting droopy, “And I think your pain meds are starting to kick in. Are you sure you’re comfortable on the couch?”

“Mmhmm, it’s really soft,” Louis closed his eyes and fell asleep soon after. Harry sat there for a while just watching him sleep, letting his hand drift up to sweep the hair off his forehead. He wanted to lean in and just kiss him, but he stood up and made himself busy. He lit some candles on the coffee table and went down the hall to his own room to make sure it was just how he had asked. It was perfect, all white and neutral tones, big plush down comforter, and he lay down on the bed for just a moment taking it all in. He was living with Louis, he was one step closer to things getting back to the way they once were. He just needed Louis to remember.

He’d almost slipped into a sound sleep when screaming from the living room woke him up. Harry jolted off the bed and ran down the hall to find Louis screaming, thrashing around, and tears streaming down his face. He ran to his side touching him, “Louis, Louis, you’re okay, wake up,you’re safe. Look at me, it’s Harry.”

Louis opened his eyes, he looked terrified as he looked around the room quickly and then his eyes landed on Harry and he seemed to calm down a little. “There was so much fire, it was everywhere, burning me. Oh god, was that real, was that a memory?”

Harry was crying now too as he pulled Louis to him, “Ssshh, baby, it’s okay,” he leaned back so he could look at him, “yea, I think that was a memory, I think you’re remembering what happened to you, why you were in the hospital.”

Louis looked over at the lit candles on the coffee table, the flames troubling him, “Could you blow those out, please?”

“Of course,” Harry got up and extinguished the candles, he stood there watching nervously, wondering if he was really equipped to deal with all of this. He’d been prepared for all the physical aspects, but the mental trauma that Louis was going to have to get through was something Harry didn’t know how to prepare for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I picture Sam looking like Chris Hemsworth, but don't worry, I have no intention of him coming between the boys.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First night in the house together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments I get on this story, I love them and it urges me to keep going with all my writing. Hope you enjoy...

Harry just stood there nervously unsure what to do for Louis next as he lay there on the couch looking so fragile. He wasn’t used to his Louis looking so breakable; Louis had always been the strong one between them and he wasn’t sure how to be the one taking care of him. Harry just knew that he wanted to try and be there for whatever Louis needed from him. “Are you okay?”

Louis looked up looking so lost, “I just hate all this. I hate feeling useless. I can’t use my body, I don’t know who I am, I have to depend on everyone for everything and I just want to be me whoever that is.” Louis looked away from Harry and looked at his broken body, “Sometimes I wonder if things would be easier for everyone if I’d have just died that night.”

“No”, Harry rushed to his side and took Louis’ face in his hands, “Don’t you ever say that. Your body is going to heal, and you may or may not get your memories back, and we may or may not end up together. The only thing I know for sure is that when I thought that I could lose you forever it was the worst feeling I’ve ever known.” He took his hand in his, “I have nightmares too. I know I wasn’t there that night, and I have no idea what you went through and are still going through, but when I dream of you not making it. Louis, I can’t breathe,” Harry tried to stop his tears from rolling down his cheeks, but it was a futile attempt. “You are the love of my life and I don’t want to know what a world without Louis Tomlinson is like.”

Louis sat there taking in every word, “But what if I’m never that Louis again. I want to be him again, I want to remember, but I might not.”

They were both crying now as Harry wiped away his tears, “You’re Louis, and if you remember great and if you don’t then I’ll just have to make you fall in love with me again. Hell, you could remember and not forgive me for walking away. I do know that I’m not walking away from you ever again, at least unless you make me.”

Louis took a deep breath, “Tell me something about myself, about how I used to be, anything.”

“You were a prankster, very mischievous with everyone, but you were softer with me, although you still played jokes on me, but they were more just between us kind of things. You and Liam used to pour water all over each other on stage, like whole water bottles, it was really funny, but you never did that to me. For me it was stuff at home, like you would come up behind me when I was cooking and tickle me or stick ice cubes down my pants. Of course, then dinner would get delayed because we’d end up fooling around,” Harry blushed as he told the story.

They sat there for a few minutes, just holding hands in the quiet of the room, “What did we do on nights alone at home, like tonight?” Louis was so curious about his life with Harry and anything that could connect the dots for him.

Harry seemed to ponder the question for a moment, “Watched tv, or a movie, played games, skinny dip in the pool, read to each other, listened to music, make love, there wasn’t like a set thing we did every night. I think that would have bored you, the monotony of life like that. You were so spontaneous and full of life. You loved to go out, but we were in the closet so if we were together we usually stayed in.”

“So, what should we do tonight?” Louis looked up at him for an answer.

The sun was starting to set outside as Harry stood up and walked over to the entertainment center on the far wall, “Well I had Marissa buy these for us to watch,” he pulled out a box set of Friends dvd’s, “we loved this show, and I figured we could watch it together, it’s like ten seasons, so it’ll take a while for us to get through it. Want to start season 1 and eat some dinner?”

Louis smiled and nodded, “That sounds nice, what’s for dinner? I’m so glad it’s not hospital food.”

Harry laughed and went to the fridge looking at all the choices, “Hmm, lasagna or chicken alfredo?”

“Well since I have no idea if I like either of those, then you can pick,” Louis pulled up his blanket tighter over him, “Can I get another blanket, I’m getting a little cold?”

Harry checked the thermostat before grabbing a soft flannel blanket from the back of one of the chairs and draped it over Louis before heading back to the kitchen and putting the lasagna in the oven. Then he put in the first disc and started Friends from the beginning.

Four episodes later and bellies full of food, Louis was yawning on the couch leaning into Harry, “Ready for bed?”

Louis’ shoulders shrugged, “I’m tired, so I should, but I’m enjoying the show.”

“You need your rest and the show will be here tomorrow. Let me help you to bed,” Harry stood and scooped up Louis placing him back into his wheelchair before rolling him down the hall to his room. It was the first time Louis was seeing it as he was wheeled in, “Hope you like it okay.”

Louis looked around taking in the big bed, the television hung on the wall, and a big window looking outside, “It’s nice,” and he put his arms around Harry’s neck as he lifted him from the chair and placed him in his bed. Harry pulled off Louis’ socks and went to cover him with the comforter when Louis grabbed his arm, “Will you stay with me?”

“Sure, want me to sit with you until you’re asleep?”

Louis shook his head, “No, I mean stay with me, all night,” his face reddened knowing what he was asking, “I don’t want to be alone, please Harry.”

He nodded, Harry was never able to say no to Louis, let me turn everything off up front and I’ll be right back. Harry rushed to the front, turning all the lights off, and making sure everything was locked up before heading back to Louis’ room. He pulled off his shirt, turned off the bedroom light and crawled in next to Louis. They lay there in the dark, side by side, but not touching, just listening to each other breathing along with the low hum of the house in the background. Eventually they both fell asleep and in their slumber, their bodies found their way inching towards each other as if out of memory.

In the morning, the sunlight sprawled across the bed into Harry’s face waking him up to the feeling of a familiar feeling on his back. He could feel Louis spelling out things with his finger on his skin, and he tried to figure out the words as he moved over his flesh. “Good morning,” Harry finally said after relaxing into the feeling for too long, but knowing that Sam would be arriving soon.

“Morning,” Louis’ voice was scratchy.

Harry rolled over so they were facing each other and was surprised at how close Louis was, “You were spelling things on my back?”

“Yea, sorry, that was silly,” Louis blushed as if embarrassed at being caught touching Harry.

“No,” Harry took Louis’ finger and kissed it gently, “it’s not silly,” he smiled and blushed before admitting, “you used to do it all the time.”

Louis’ face lit up, “I did?”

“Yea, you’d wake up and get bored waiting for me to wake up so you’d write little messages on my back, sometimes sweet, sometimes not so sweet. Do you not remember?”

Louis shook his head, “No, it wasn’t a memory, it just I don’t know, it felt right, does that even make sense?”

“Perfect,” Harry told him, “it makes perfect sense.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm a horrible person for being away from writing for too long. Life got in the way, also just wasn't feeling it. I'm trying to get myself back in the groove and hopefully everyone likes the update.

The bed was warm and cozy with the sun streaming over them and Harry couldn’t stop staring at Louis lying next to him. It was perfect and like so many other mornings they’d shared over the years together. “Sam is going to be here soon, but I don’t want to get out of this bed,” Harry confessed.

Louis smiled reaching out a hand to touch Harry’s arm, “Well he’s not here yet, so we should keep lying here.” He blushed a bit and looked away as if thinking of what to say next, “I like these,” his fingers running over the tattoos on Harry’s arm.

“You have a lot of them too, I’m not sure how many you’ve seen with all the bandages and your cast,” Harry smiled, “and a lot of mine coincide with yours.”

Louis’ face lit up, “They do, like what?”

Harry raised his hand showing off his anchor, “I have this one and you have the rope, it’s on your wrist like mine. It’s funny actually because for a while you hated tattoos, said you’d never get one.”

“And then I liked how they looked on you and caved in, huh?” Louis joked continuing to touch the dark marks spattering across Harry’s pale skin.

“Pretty much, actually,” Harry could feel himself moving closer and closer to Louis almost like magnets pulling toward each other. He stared at his pink lips feeling the gentle caress of his tiny fingers getting lost in those blue eyes when he heard the doorbell ring, “Shit,” the moment broken as Harry got out of the warm bed. The bell rang again as he was moving down the hall pulling his shirt over his head before pulling open the door, “Morning, Sam.”

The tall blonde stood there grinning, “Hey, Harry, how’s Louis doing this morning?”

Harry smiled running his hand through his curls, “Good, still in bed.”

“I need to change his bandages and check him over so I’ll get everything done and let you know when I’m done,” Sam headed down the hall to Louis’ room.

Harry called out after him, “Okay, I’ll get started on some breakfast for him.”

The fridge was fully stocked as Harry looked everything over to find something to make. More than anything he was trying to keep himself busy so he wasn’t tempted to run down the hall and hover over Louis. He knew how much changing his bandages hurt him and more than anything he wanted to be there and protect him. He also knew that Louis was a proud person and wouldn’t want Harry in there for that. Sam would have to bathe him and dress him and wouldn’t like being vulnerable in front of him. 

He went about gathering food and cooking, he played music in an attempt to give them privacy down the hall. Before he knew it there were three plates of a full English breakfast on the table and before he had a chance to check in with them Sam was wheeling Louis in the room. “This smells great,” Sam exclaimed as he pushed the chair for Louis up to the table.

“Thanks,” Harry sat down and motioned for Sam to take a seat as well. “Physical therapy doesn’t start until tomorrow, but your therapist is coming later today, Louis.”

Louis’ head shot up from where he had just been looking at his plate, “My what? Did you say therapist? No, I’m not doing that.”

Harry breathed out, he’d been expecting this, “I know you don’t want to talk to some stranger about all this, but you have to, it’s part of your treatment. You’ve been through a lot and you’re still going through all this. Your injuries, your memories, it’s a lot and you have to talk to someone.”

Louis looked at Sam as if not wanting to talk in front of him, but then conceding to his predicament, “I talk to you, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, Louis, she’s coming later to see you and it is what it is. I can’t be your therapist. Please Louis,” Harry begged with his eyes and Louis seemed to give in.

“Fine, I’ll meet her and see how I feel,” he looked down at his plate, “What is all this?”

“Delicious,” Sam commented looking up from his almost empty plate.

Harry laughed, “It’s a full English breakfast, it’s bacon, egg, sausages, beans, tomatoes, toast, and mushrooms, I made your tea just the way you like it. You’ll like it, try it.”

They all ate and chatted, going over things needed for the day and Harry could tell Louis wasn’t happy about Sam being there or about how much he was needed to help out with everything. Harry could always read Louis, even this Louis without his memories was easy for Harry to see what he was feeling. Louis hated being fragile, so helpless, and Harry wished he could do something to make him feel more independent. He also hoped the therapist would help Louis if he was willing to let her.

After breakfast Louis was hurting so Sam settled him into the living room on the couch and once his pain meds kicked in he fell asleep. Harry took the time to make some phone calls for work and his family. He also called Louis’ family and updated them on how he was doing at the house. He relieved Sam for the afternoon knowing he’d be back later this evening to check in again. He was just getting out of the shower when he heard a crash from the living room. Harry ran down the hall soaking wet in towel to find Louis in the floor and the wheel chair toppled over. “Oh my god, are you okay, what happened?”

“I’m fine, I woke up and called out, but no one answered, so I tried to move myself from the couch into the chair. It didn’t go well,” he gestured with his hands at himself lying on the floor.

Harry knelt next to him, “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I was in the shower.”

“I can see that,” Louis’ eyes ran over his semi naked body and the temperature in the room seemed to go up about 20 degrees suddenly. 

“Um”, Harry looked down at his self barely covered in a towel and drops of water sliding down his skin, “Sorry,” he was suddenly embarrassed. 

Louis smiled, “Don’t be, I like it, but I’d like getting off the floor too,” he joked.

Harry laughed and scooped Louis up and went to stand up to place him back on the couch, unfortunately he stepped on his towel, tripped, and they both fell over onto the sofa. “Fuck, are you okay, did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m okay, you klutz,” Louis let his eyes rake over Harry’s body, the towel now abandoned on the floor and Harry completely naked lying on top of him in all his glory. “Damn your gorgeous,” Louis’ hand moved into Harry’s wet hair pushing it off his face, Harry’s heart was racing in the moment and couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and just brushing Louis’ lips with his own. He went to pull away then, he wasn’t sure if this was too soon, and he felt so exposed, but Louis’ hand gripped him. Blue eyes longingly staring at him, and a single pleading word, “More.”


End file.
